Profile for CowJam:
Recent front page messages:
Best answers to questions:
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- a member for 20 years, 6 months and 14 days
- has posted 1203 messages on the main board
- (of which 1 have appeared on the front page)
- has posted 32351 messages on the talk board
- has posted 32 messages on the links board
- (including 5 links)
- has posted 58 stories and 125 replies on question of the week
- They liked 231 pictures, 11 links, 475 talk posts, and 23 qotw answers. [RSS feed]
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Recent front page messages:
Clive's latest invention
biggify | rather shite gallery | and it only took 132 days to get FP'd!
(Mon 16th Feb 2004, 19:31, More)
biggify | rather shite gallery | and it only took 132 days to get FP'd!
(Mon 16th Feb 2004, 19:31, More)
Best answers to questions:
» Customers from Hell
Sainsbury's To You
I used to work the late shift on the phones for the home delivery shopping service. On their webshite it states clearly that orders not completed by a certain time wont get delivered next day.
Every evening, shortly after that cut-off time, we got calls telling us our system was broken, had lied, had guaranteed next day delivery, etc and that everyone would starve to death if it didn't arrive.
The best one was a very angry gentleman purporting to be a writer for a broadsheet. He told me the site didn't contain any warnings (despite their being pop-up message boxes and a warning at each stage of ordering) and that if I didn't get him his shopping by tomorrow he'd do a double-page spread about the situation. "That's fine by me, sir. If you write a double page spread on people's inability to follow simple instructions it's just possible that I'll be able to finish at 9pm when the stores close instead of half past ten when I've finished dealing with idiots who think they deserve special treatment."
(Thu 4th Sep 2008, 18:46, More)
Sainsbury's To You
I used to work the late shift on the phones for the home delivery shopping service. On their webshite it states clearly that orders not completed by a certain time wont get delivered next day.
Every evening, shortly after that cut-off time, we got calls telling us our system was broken, had lied, had guaranteed next day delivery, etc and that everyone would starve to death if it didn't arrive.
The best one was a very angry gentleman purporting to be a writer for a broadsheet. He told me the site didn't contain any warnings (despite their being pop-up message boxes and a warning at each stage of ordering) and that if I didn't get him his shopping by tomorrow he'd do a double-page spread about the situation. "That's fine by me, sir. If you write a double page spread on people's inability to follow simple instructions it's just possible that I'll be able to finish at 9pm when the stores close instead of half past ten when I've finished dealing with idiots who think they deserve special treatment."
(Thu 4th Sep 2008, 18:46, More)
» Sleepwalking
First of a few stories
One morning I'm woken by my step-mother saying "Sam, why are you in the spare room?"
I look around and lo and behold I am in the spare room despite going to bed half a house away. "I dunno" I reply.
"Why are you in bed with a book stand?" she asks. Turns out I'd neatly emptied the books off this wooden frame and taken it to bed with me. "I dunno" I reply.
"Do you know that your dressing gown is in the bathroom?" I didn't. I check under the covers and say "er... could you fetch it for me please?"
(Fri 24th Aug 2007, 14:27, More)
First of a few stories
One morning I'm woken by my step-mother saying "Sam, why are you in the spare room?"
I look around and lo and behold I am in the spare room despite going to bed half a house away. "I dunno" I reply.
"Why are you in bed with a book stand?" she asks. Turns out I'd neatly emptied the books off this wooden frame and taken it to bed with me. "I dunno" I reply.
"Do you know that your dressing gown is in the bathroom?" I didn't. I check under the covers and say "er... could you fetch it for me please?"
(Fri 24th Aug 2007, 14:27, More)
» Sacked
The Register got me fired
I was working for Sainsbury's to You on the phones taking complaints about late deliveries and I read an article on a phishing scam. I emailed the journo a short piece saying "that's nothing, StY store liaison team phone people up and say 'hi, this is bob from StY. There's been an error taking payment for your shopping, can you give me your credit card details again please' with no security whatsoever'. They published the letter in their weekly letters roundup, helpfully leaving my and the company names in.
The head of the company who ran the website called the head of the callcentre when he read it and I was escorted from the building.
I emailed El Reg and asked them to remove the names (StY asked me to) and they did. I also asked them why they hadn't already and they said "we only remove names if we think someone might get fired". Thanks, good judgement there.
(Thu 23rd Feb 2006, 17:53, More)
The Register got me fired
I was working for Sainsbury's to You on the phones taking complaints about late deliveries and I read an article on a phishing scam. I emailed the journo a short piece saying "that's nothing, StY store liaison team phone people up and say 'hi, this is bob from StY. There's been an error taking payment for your shopping, can you give me your credit card details again please' with no security whatsoever'. They published the letter in their weekly letters roundup, helpfully leaving my and the company names in.
The head of the company who ran the website called the head of the callcentre when he read it and I was escorted from the building.
I emailed El Reg and asked them to remove the names (StY asked me to) and they did. I also asked them why they hadn't already and they said "we only remove names if we think someone might get fired". Thanks, good judgement there.
(Thu 23rd Feb 2006, 17:53, More)
» Ignoring Instructions
I'm extremely lazy
and as such only tend to read the first couple of letters of a word and guess what it is from how big it looks. This generally works except for doors - I read PUSH and PULL as just PU**.
The number of doors I've walked in to is huge, especially when I was working in a hospital
(Tue 9th May 2006, 1:15, More)
I'm extremely lazy
and as such only tend to read the first couple of letters of a word and guess what it is from how big it looks. This generally works except for doors - I read PUSH and PULL as just PU**.
The number of doors I've walked in to is huge, especially when I was working in a hospital
(Tue 9th May 2006, 1:15, More)