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» Clients Are Stupid
In a butcher's shop in Depthford
And my girlfriend who was foreign (so prone to asking me lots of questions) asked if the mince was beef or pork. So I automatically turned to ask the bloke at the counter who looked at me like I had trodden in shit. 'We don't sell pork.' he said and I left thinking 'Don't sell pork, what kind of a butcher is this?' On closer inspection of the huge sign above the shop window my question was answered. It was a halal butcher. Oops.
(Fri 2nd Jan 2004, 11:54, More)
In a butcher's shop in Depthford
And my girlfriend who was foreign (so prone to asking me lots of questions) asked if the mince was beef or pork. So I automatically turned to ask the bloke at the counter who looked at me like I had trodden in shit. 'We don't sell pork.' he said and I left thinking 'Don't sell pork, what kind of a butcher is this?' On closer inspection of the huge sign above the shop window my question was answered. It was a halal butcher. Oops.
(Fri 2nd Jan 2004, 11:54, More)
» Slang Survey
DMMTYWYW
My friend is at teacher training college and his favourite phrase is; 'Don't make me touch you where you wee'.
(Tue 3rd Feb 2004, 12:02, More)
DMMTYWYW
My friend is at teacher training college and his favourite phrase is; 'Don't make me touch you where you wee'.
(Tue 3rd Feb 2004, 12:02, More)
» Dad Jokes
A few from my Australian friend. She says:
Here are a few for you to add:
1. on getting out of the shower, asking the first person he sees "Whose the
cleanest boy in the house?" (my old housemates STILL say this, 5 years
after Dad's visit to Melbourne). You HAVE to reply "you are" or he'll just
keep on about it.
2. on looking in the mirror - "hey handsome, how's your ugly daughter?" -
to be recited ad nauseaum within my earshot
3. on getting home from work, asking me the same three questions
Q1: Did you eat your lunch?
Q2: Did you get the strap?
Q3: Did you get sent to the corner?
Classics, every one. Jesus, no wonder I'm so screwed up now.
(Thu 11th Dec 2003, 3:32, More)
A few from my Australian friend. She says:
Here are a few for you to add:
1. on getting out of the shower, asking the first person he sees "Whose the
cleanest boy in the house?" (my old housemates STILL say this, 5 years
after Dad's visit to Melbourne). You HAVE to reply "you are" or he'll just
keep on about it.
2. on looking in the mirror - "hey handsome, how's your ugly daughter?" -
to be recited ad nauseaum within my earshot
3. on getting home from work, asking me the same three questions
Q1: Did you eat your lunch?
Q2: Did you get the strap?
Q3: Did you get sent to the corner?
Classics, every one. Jesus, no wonder I'm so screwed up now.
(Thu 11th Dec 2003, 3:32, More)