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Does anyone ever read these things? Maybe its just because I'm a lurker

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» My Wanking Disasters

Don't know if this counts
And my Ex will probably kill me if she reads this so I best start preying!

I had been going out with this girl for about a week and so far it hadn't got vey sexual, just winding her up by stroking her knees and legs. One night whilst we were out in town getting quite pissed she had to leave early to get the bus home. I walked her to the bus station to make sure she got on it ok. Suddenly she grabbed my wrist and took my into a photobooth where I siezed my oppertunity to cop a feel. She also decided to take the oppertunity to see what my cock was like, so she pulled it out and started wanking it. I decided to put my hands down her pants to return the favour. After about 10 minutes we realised her bus would be there shortly and left. When we got outside we were met by two guys with smiles on their faces, they probably knew what we were up to I thought. We both just ran up the stairs to where the buses were and said good bye. It was not until I was walking down past the photobooth that I realised the curtain only comes down to about my waist. Not only did those guys know what we were up to, the also saw what we were up to!

Sorry for length, I have a habbit of babbling
(Tue 1st Jun 2004, 18:02, More)

» My Worst Date

Can't remember if I've told this one before
I went for a night out with a few of my uni mates to Dundee. I met my mates in a club (due to lazyness I set off 2 hours behind them) and we proceeded in having a good night. Towards the end of the night I spy a rather attractive female, to cut a long story show I ended up back at a hotel room with her and 2 of her mates. Her two mates were quite happily doing their own thing so me and this lass decided to have a very sneaky shag next to them. I finish up and she heads to the shower. I look at the bed sheets and just see a red mess. I panic get dressed and stand up. I feel all light headed, I thought I was just drunk so I headed into the shower as well, by this time the other two have realised what was happening. I get into the shower and realise where the blood was coming from, I had snapped my banjo string! I promptly left the hotel room apologising a lot. This starts the next dilema, I'm in the middle of dundee, I've lost quite a lot of blood and I have no idea where my mates are, so I head to the bus station. It's 6am and there isn't a bus to glasgow until 7. Finally I make it home by 12 and sit shaking for the next 2 days!

Needless to day I didn't see that girl again!
(Sat 23rd Oct 2004, 23:58, More)

» The Best / Worst thing I've ever eaten

Normally I'm not a big fish fan, but one of my best meals ever was fish.

Back in my college days myself and my flatmates went on a shopping trip to tescos and saw they had fresh fish. My flatmates were really excited and talked me into getting some as well. When we got home my two flatmates started debating about how to cook it, should we pan fry it or bake it. So I came up with a better idea. We wrapped the fish in foil with some butter and herbs and cut up some potatoes, onions, peppers and wrapped them in foil as well. Then we picked up a few drinks and threw it all in a bag and walked about a mile to a river. Once at the river we walked along the bank until we found a nice area and set up a small fire and threw the foil packs on it.

Once it was cooked it was the best fish I had ever eaten. I'm not sure if it was because it was because it was fresh fish, or the fact that it was cooked on an open fire, or the fact that we were next to a river with no-one else around, or the fact that we had walked a distance so we were all really hungry, but whatever it was, I'm glad that we did it!
(Sat 28th May 2011, 17:55, More)

» Awesome teachers

The teacher who changed my life
So I could have talked about so many great teachers, like Mr Rooks our PE and RE teacher, in PE he had a whole class of year 9 boys doing dance because we respected him that much, and in RE he would come in and give us a topic, then for the next hour the whole class would debate about said topic. Unfortunately the RE teachers we had in the following years couldn't handle us, we almost gave one a breakdown. Or then there's Mr Hazard who would talk about his amazing cat who couldn't land on its feet. Apparent he tested this from 5ft above a stone floor before deciding it would be better to test it on his bed. Or Mr Denis the physics teacher who always wore country casuals.

No, this story is not about those teachers. In fact this story is not about a teacher I even liked. This story is about Mrs Foster. Mrs foster was my year 9 physics teacher, we didn't quite see eye to eye. She thought I should go home at night and do homework, i thought I should go home at night and play video games. Once she even threatened to come to my house and talk to my parents about my lack of homework. She never did thankfully and after year 9 I no longer had her as a teacher.

So how did she change my life? Well I made it all the way through to 6th form and was taking my AS levels, and managed to spectacularly fail them, so much so I decided I would repeat year 12. When I was going through year 12 again Mrs Foster had become a form tutor. And upon hearing that I was repeating she requested me to be in her class. Now, I know what you're thinking, she helped me to get to excellent grades, passed a levels and went to UMIST to study physics, went on to get my masters, then a PHD and now I'm one of the top scientist in the world. But no, you'd be wrong. I did go on that year to get good grades in my AS, but that was thanks to Miss Kenningham who stayed back every night after school and allowed me to sit in her classroom revising while she marked homework. Unfortunately Miss Kenningham left after that year and the next year I thought I could study by myself, but I was wrong and never did get to go to UMIST.

Back to Mrs Foster, she changed my life in what would seem a very small way, but like a snowball it grew and grew. Mrs Foster suggested that I should volunteer at the local youth center helping younger kids with homework (I know!) and running a youth club. Well that introduced me to the local youth service, from there I went on a trip to Italy, then to Africa to climb Mt Kilimanjaro (this is one of the reasons I didn't study for my A levels) and I also found out about Camp America. I went on Camp America and after a few times out I fell in love with the most amazing girl ever, and she loved me back. We got married a year later and now I'm living over in the states, I'm currently back in college studying to be a substation electrician.

So sometimes even the teachers you don't really like can be awesome. I was actually thinking of emailing her before this QOTW came out as it has been 10 years since that fateful day she suggested the youth service, and I'm pretty sure she thinks that she failed with me and never turned my life around.
(Thu 24th Mar 2011, 1:16, More)

» The Police II

Back when I was a student.
It was around 2am, I couldn't sleep, and I had run out of cigs. Not being able to drive I had the option of waiting until the morning to get a smoke or walking 3 or 4 miles to get to the local 24hr Tescos. I make it down ok and got my cigs and a few late night snacks. I start walking back when I see a car pass me, then it comes back down the road a few minutes later. Next thing I know I see a car slowly approach me from behind. I'm not in a very good part of town. So my mind starts racing, where can I run, what do I have as a weapon. I figured I couldn't really run anywhere he couldn't drive quicker and the only thing I had for a weapon was a crunchy bar and a bag of crisps, not much good. Then I noticed the driver had his window open and was showing me something. It was his hat. More specifically his policemans hat. Thankfully he was looking for someone in that area and wanted to know if I had seen them, which I hadn't.

When he drove off I realised the only ID he had shown me was his helmet and then he was gone.
(Tue 10th May 2011, 1:43, More)
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