b3ta.com user P45
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» Cheap Tat

Extendable dog leads
I bought an extendable/retractable dog lead from a pound shop (it cost £1 in case you were wondering). Next day I'm walking the dog and he sees something he wants to investigate and pelts off after it. He reaches the limit of the lead but instead of jerking sharply to a halt he simply pulls the lead straight out of its case and carries on.
He was a Yorkshire Terrier.
(Fri 4th Jan 2008, 12:19, More)

» Sleepwalking

Reach for the stars!
According to my girlfriend, one night, whilst I was on some pretty strong prescription medication I kept my right arm pointed straight up in the air for an hour.
She hung a sock on my thumb.
(Thu 23rd Aug 2007, 4:43, More)

» Crappy Prizes

In 1980 (ish)
I won a car windscreen sun visor thing emblazoned with an advert for 'Popeye: The Movie'
(Wed 10th Aug 2005, 2:28, More)

» Advice from Old People

64 yr old man at work once told me..

"Don't get old. It's fucking shit."
(Thu 19th Jun 2008, 18:15, More)

» Food sex

Edible underwear
She ate them straight out of the packet. 2 strawberry flavoured thongs.

"I was hungry!" she explained. Duh.
(Thu 6th Aug 2009, 16:21, More)
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