b3ta.com user Rompy
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Before I was born, my mother was in a bar in London. A rude man turned to a friend and enquired "Who's this skinny tart?"


Ladies and gentlemen - that rude man was BRIAN BLESSED!


Anyway, my b3ta shite is here: http://qiiq.net/b3ta


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» Your Revenge Stories

Shared flats, shared aerials
I had to move from my first flat, because humans are innately noisy and unpleasant.

For putting me through 3 years of late night fights, humping and thumping teckqn0, I made a visit to the roof area of the flats for some tweakage of the shared aerial.

Now, this aerial plugged into a booster which had 8 feeds from it, one for each flat. Without electricity there is no television picture, but someone would figure this out too quickly, so I added a cheap clockwork timer.

Television in my old close now magically fails every other hour. To avoid prying eyes I also changed the padlock to the attic.
(Fri 14th May 2004, 11:50, More)

» Shit Stories

Terminology
Thanks to the 3 year old son of a colleague of mine, I now refer to painful bowel movements as a "crocodile poo."

Because they are bitey, he explained!
(Fri 7th May 2004, 23:03, More)