b3ta.com user AKismet
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Profile for AKismet:
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I am a bio-engineered super-warrior with additions that make me superhuman. I am unmatched in Long-range shooting and stealth assaults and cannot be killed by conventional methods. I have regenerative and hazardous environment resistance abilities which are part of the mechanical super abilities that I posess.

Recent front page messages:


Best answers to questions:

» My Wanking Disasters

"I have an Itch"
A message from Burb and Pufferfish:

A particular friend of mine takes pride in the fact that he can suck himself off. He has proven this by using such items as pencils etc. as props for demonstration. He has recounted many tales of certain events and predicaments he has been in. Such as the time he "accidentally" came all over his face. But the most brain-burstingly embarrassing moment was this little tale which was confirmed by the viewer themself. He was taking part in his favourite pasttime event with his trousers and pants around his ankles facing his bedroom door. In other words, he was fully exposed. When his Mum walked in only to see a certain eye staring at her. He then immdiately came up with the terribly thought-up response to his Mum who was in a state of uncontrollable laughter "I have an itch."
(Tue 1st Jun 2004, 22:08, More)

» Stuff You've Overheard

Scarred for life
I overheard someone tell an American that when the Ice cream van plays the tune, he's all out of Ice cream.

Oh how they cried.
(Thu 10th Jun 2004, 12:30, More)

» Impromptu Games You Play

For me it's
speaking a load of random bollocks, then my friend has to name a song which somehow relates in terms of lyrics. Even more fun when you make double entendres.
Or just reworking song lyrics into stories, or playing a game where we just finish the lyric.

But an even better game is one where we choose a random rude word in our school lesson, for example: Bollocks. One of us has to say the word, then the other must say it even louder, and then the first person says it even louder still until eventually we're screaming it in the lesson.

The loser is the one who gets caught.

This game is great fun, but can get you in trouble. It can also be played in public places to see if you get any dirty looks.
(Mon 29th Mar 2004, 16:25, More)

» Impromptu Games You Play

Icecream van
I tell Children that when the icecream van plays a tune, it has run out of icecream.
(Fri 2nd Apr 2004, 11:11, More)

» Lies Your Parents Told You

There's always the obvious ones that EVERYONE has heard
"I'm doing this for your own good."


"Some day you'll thank me for this."

Never has been true...
(Wed 21st Jan 2004, 19:13, More)
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