b3ta.com user imianwilliams
You are not logged in. Login or Signup
Profile for imianwilliams:
Profile Info:

none

Recent front page messages:


none

Best answers to questions:

» Jobsworths

Asda
On holiday in Cornwall several years ago, I popped in to the local Asda to buy a few bits of shopping.
It was only a couple of tins, so I took them to the "baskets only" till.
Till monkey says "I'm sorry, I can't serve you, your shopping isn't in a basket"
So I pick up a basket from the pile immideately in front of her, put my shopping in it, & she happily serves me.

TWUNT!!
(Wed 18th May 2005, 12:06, More)

» Booze Related Disasters

How to upset your friends parents
Right ...imagine this.
You're a nice middle class family, with a lovely daughter. You've got a gorgeous house in a really nice seaside town in Devon, which you've just repainted bright white.
The afore mentioned daughter invites me down from Nottingham for a few days, most of this time is spent in the pubs drinking cider plus quite a lot of Rum & Blackcurrents.

To cut a long story short..... I wake up in the middle of the night, needing to puke. The nearest place I can find to vomit is out the bedroom window. I puke out the window & go back to sleep.

The next morning, I can't work out why there's such a frosty atmosphere at the breakfast table. ....until I go outside & see the bright purple "rum & black" puke stains right down the front of the freshly painted house!!!
(Fri 19th Mar 2004, 10:34, More)

» Dad Jokes

Bloody excellent thread!!
My old man died when I was 17 (24 years ago!!), & reading through this lot has just reminded me how much I miss the silly old fool.
(Fri 12th Dec 2003, 12:24, More)

» People with Stupid Names

another one
My Mrs works with a married couple called Lee & Lyla Liquorice.
(Thu 26th Aug 2004, 12:57, More)

» People with Stupid Names

My favourite
Several years ago, me & the Mrs had an appointment with a bloke who was going to install a new wooden floor in our house.

So picture the scene... we're sat in this office, in walks a man in a suit who holds out his hand & says....

"Hello, I'm Harvey Trout"

We both just about managed to keep a straight face through the meeting, but we both collapsed in to a giggling heap as soon as we got out.
(Thu 26th Aug 2004, 12:52, More)
[read all their answers]