b3ta.com user davidblunkettsdogblankets
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Profile for davidblunkettsdogblankets:
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Male, 29, seeks hilarious website full of kittens and spoff photoshop jokes for good times and possibly more. Enjoys walking, winking and wanking. GSOH. Apply within.

Q Branch Clothing



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Best answers to questions:

» Toilets

a quickie
mate of mine used to be a plumber before he decided to engage in mature studentness.

anyhoo, says he got a call out to a blocked crapper this one day, a blockage of such proportions that all his 15 years in the job couldn't shift.

through a combination of skill & guile however, he coaxed a richard of epic propotions from beyond the u bend.

his description of it will go to my grave with me......."it was like ET's neck".
(Mon 5th Sep 2005, 8:47, More)

» When animals attack...

chester zoo
ah the memories. every bloody primary school trip we ever went on was to chester zoo. the headmaster must have had fucking shares.

anyway.....

and so to the hippo enclosure. a majestic beast i think you'll agree. so much ooo-ing and ahh-ing was being done by the assembled masses of school kids as they trounced about. now then, this one hippo seemed friendlier than most, and wandered over to get a closer look at us.

clearly unimpressed, he turned arse towards us, and let rip a shit of hippocalyptic magnitude, flailing it to ever compass point imaginable with his tail in the process.

"cue" many hipposhit covered kids, and the most unpleasant bus journey home. ever.
(Fri 3rd Jun 2005, 11:27, More)

» DIY fashion

accessories
is what fashion is all about.

like the stuffed toy parrot i attempted to sew onto my shirt shoulder as a child in order to gain extra pirate respect points off my friends.

needless to say i now have no friends.
(Thu 24th Aug 2006, 15:35, More)

» Claims to Fame

terry waite
on a services stop with a mate from work, who should disembark from one of the many coaches but good old terry waite.

he bought a coffee and sat on the table next to us.

my mate tells him not to get too close to the radiator.

terry leaves.
(Wed 2nd Mar 2005, 9:08, More)

» Stupid Tourists

more merkin mirth
having recently had the pleasure of slogging across the andes for four days to see macchu pichu, imagine my horror at being informed by some 80 year old american fuckwit who clearly got the bus up there that the incas were inconsiderate not to make it more disabled friendly.

as an aside, it was most amusing to be told "winners don't use drugs" as i stuffed my face full of coca leaves passing a group of exceptionally fat and out of shape septics on day 2 of the trail.

stupid cunts.
(Tue 12th Jul 2005, 12:30, More)
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