b3ta.com user Dr. Zoidberg
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» Pet Names

My friend
had a cat named Taxi. Her dad had thought it would be amusing to stand at the end of the drive and shout "Taxi!"

Plus someone at school told me that when she was little her family got two kittens. They were named Starsky and Hutch. Almost immediately poor Starsky was run over by a car, thus leaving them for years and years with a cat oddly named Hutch.
(Wed 25th Feb 2004, 22:24, More)

» My Worst Date

A friend of mine...
...(a real one, not one of those hypothetical friends) went out with some mates on his birthday a couple of years ago. Got very drunk, pulled a woman in the local dive, took her back to his place. They were both very, very drunk. They got into bed. She pissed in it. She went home.

As you can see, I'll tell anyone this story.
(Sat 23rd Oct 2004, 13:50, More)

» Pure Ignorance

Sorry but...
We *do* have more than one moon, don't you watch QI?

And nappy is an abbreviation of napkin which is what posh people still call nappies. Honestly.
(Thu 13th Jan 2005, 16:24, More)

» Pure Ignorance

Just this minute as I was reading through these...
...a colleague asked if Qatar was in Italy.
(Mon 10th Jan 2005, 14:36, More)

» Lies Your Parents Told You

When I was little I had a fish.
He died. My parents consoled me and informed me he had had a proper burial in the garden. They even told me whereabouts he was. However, several years later I discovered he had in fact been unceremoniously flushed down the toilet. This panicked me slightly when the rabbit died.

One day my nan's mascara and eyeliner had gone a bit flaky, and, being little, I asked her what the black around her eyes was. She told me that Grandad had punched her. Thing was, I happily accepted this without question, even though my grandad is a sweet old man.
(Thu 22nd Jan 2004, 17:42, More)
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