» Restaurants, Kitchens and Bars... Oh my!

If You Plan To Do Drugs, Be Nice
In any bar in NYC (or anywhere else for that matter) its inevitable that people do coke in the restrooms.

I manage a bar on Friday nights and there was a group of 6 or so guys celebrating a mates birthday. Some of them were nice enough but most were just assholes. Obnoxious, bad tippers (not a good thing in USA), and despite our polite requests kept getting in the way of the barback who's running back and forth keeping the bar stocked etc.

I should have kicked them all out once I found that the sneaked a bottle of Jack Daniels in. I didn't. Instead I took the bottle and poured it down the drain.

Later on I went to check on the mens toilets. And there is the biggest asshole of the lot snorting coke off the toilet (which is fucking disgusting as toilets go anyway).

Generally I don't care what people do, but I do care that they do it when I'm working, and are dumb enough to get caught.

I reach for my mobile (the battery is dead but he doesn't know that) and tell him he has two choices (1) He can wait here for the cops, or (2) He can flush the entire stash down the toilet and get the fuck out of the bar.

Poor bastard must have had the entire groups coke for the night. It was a big enough baggie. He whimpered a little as he emptied it into the toilet ("You're so UNFAIR") and seemed really flustered. Fucking drama queen.

Once flushed I dragged him by the arm out the door.

If he'd been a nice customer though the night I'd just have asked him to leave, but he'd been a complete prick.

What cracks me up was that I had no intention of holding him until the police got here (and probably no legal leg to stand on). He could have just left at any time.

Dumb bastard.
(Fri 21st Jul 2006, 15:46, More)

» Restaurants, Kitchens and Bars... Oh my!

Santioned Theft Of Sorts
Me again, sorry...

In the bar I manage sometimes there is fuck all to do except walk around or stand at the bar. On Friday nights when its slammed, sometimes I'll stand by the bar entrance with my arms folded on the bar killing time.

Usually there are people all around me trying to get a pint, and the bartenders aren't very fast so they can wait awhile. I'm dressed like anyone else so theres no real indication that I work there at all.

If the two bartenders on that night are pre-occupied and not really looking in my direction I'll walk behind the bar and pour myself a shot of top-shelf tequila or whisky, and return to my spot at the bar.

You should see the looks I get from the bewildered customers. Priceless.
(Fri 21st Jul 2006, 15:56, More)

» Your Weirdest Teacher

The joy of a "christian brothers" school
We had a teacher nick named "Leo" - not sure why. Was a total hypochondriac. he "taught" Business Studies. He used to wear plasters on each ear lobe in case he got a paper cut.

If you wanted to get the hell out of his class for a smoke or whatever all you had to do was start coughing and sneeze. he wouldn't want you in the room and would send you outside.

All the teachers hated him for other reasons. I can only guess.

Then there was Mr. Corcoran who taught Geography. Can't remember his nickname. He was the most audacious and violent nose picker I ever knew. He'd sit on his desk rambling on about plate tectonics with his finger firmly up his nose and digging around. What was his problem???

Then there was the principal, his name was Brother Efram (he was a religious brother). He caught people smoking in his first week and gave out shit. of course they taught they'd be smart and attacked him. The brother beat the living shit out of them. The following week he started the Judo club - he was a frigging black belt! In general he was one of those 'firm but fair' types.

I could go on!
michael
(Mon 14th Nov 2005, 15:02, More)

» Lies Your Parents Told You

My name

Until the age of twelve I thought my name was Miceal (kind of prnounced Me-hall, which is the Irish for Michael). Then I got my birth certificate and said that I was actually called 'Michael' which was what my Dad went by. It turns out that my Dads name, according to his birth cert, was 'Miceal' but he hated it too and changed it. With two Michaels in the same house it got confusing so they just chnaged mine...

So I in conclusion, I insisted on being called Michael and now my parents just call me 'David' (my second name).

I can't win.
(Mon 19th Jan 2004, 18:59, More)

» People with Stupid Names

dumb names
I was in a class in school with a guy called Brian O'Brien. I though Bob would be an obvious alias but no one ever callled him that.
(Fri 27th Aug 2004, 6:59, More)