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- a member for 20 years, 4 months and 14 days
- has posted 2 messages on the main board
- has posted 0 messages on the talk board
- has posted 0 messages on the links board
- has posted 4 stories and 0 replies on question of the week
- They liked 0 pictures, 0 links, 0 talk posts, and 0 qotw answers.
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» Shit Stories
Three stories! I shit you not! (ho ho ho)
Story one:
When I were but a lad doing gcse's, someone took such an offence to the school gypo's Hi-Tech Silver shaddows that they layed a perfectly curled cable in each one. The Headteacher's response? 'We will get to the bottom of this'...
Story two:
While my friends were playing a gig at a club in Aberdeen, they discovered a pair of disguarded grundies in the bogs. Thinking it would be funny, one of them hooked them up with his foot, and flicked them at the guitarist, not knowing that they were 'fully loaded'. They hit his leg with a wet slap, wraped themselves round his jeans, and drained their contents all over his new shoes, making him vomit and everyone else in the gents crease up with laughter.
Story Three:
When my dad was sick with the flu, he accidentally shat the bed. Thinking with the delirium you have when you're ill, he decided not to change the sheets. He simply swapped them round, and tried to blame my mum cause it was on her side of the bed.
(Thu 6th May 2004, 1:22, More)
Three stories! I shit you not! (ho ho ho)
Story one:
When I were but a lad doing gcse's, someone took such an offence to the school gypo's Hi-Tech Silver shaddows that they layed a perfectly curled cable in each one. The Headteacher's response? 'We will get to the bottom of this'...
Story two:
While my friends were playing a gig at a club in Aberdeen, they discovered a pair of disguarded grundies in the bogs. Thinking it would be funny, one of them hooked them up with his foot, and flicked them at the guitarist, not knowing that they were 'fully loaded'. They hit his leg with a wet slap, wraped themselves round his jeans, and drained their contents all over his new shoes, making him vomit and everyone else in the gents crease up with laughter.
Story Three:
When my dad was sick with the flu, he accidentally shat the bed. Thinking with the delirium you have when you're ill, he decided not to change the sheets. He simply swapped them round, and tried to blame my mum cause it was on her side of the bed.
(Thu 6th May 2004, 1:22, More)
» Have you ever been rude to a celebrity?
Christopher sodding Timothy
Before he got a part in Doctors and signed off the dole he used to stop off at the petrol station where I worked in his shitty battered Saab, buy a pack of Hamlet and spark one up on the forecourt. Needless to say I was very disapointed at such blatent disregard for customer safety, and called him up on the tanoy to tell him what a 'fucking idiot' he was.
Needless to say I got reprimanded for it, but hey? I'm all about the safety, man...
(Thu 15th Apr 2004, 12:59, More)
Christopher sodding Timothy
Before he got a part in Doctors and signed off the dole he used to stop off at the petrol station where I worked in his shitty battered Saab, buy a pack of Hamlet and spark one up on the forecourt. Needless to say I was very disapointed at such blatent disregard for customer safety, and called him up on the tanoy to tell him what a 'fucking idiot' he was.
Needless to say I got reprimanded for it, but hey? I'm all about the safety, man...
(Thu 15th Apr 2004, 12:59, More)
» Lies Your Parents Told You
Not really a lie as such, but...
As a youth, I'd never eaten a plum before. Upon asking my father 'What do Plums taste like Dad?', a thin smile curled round on his face, and he replied 'Only women and gay blokes know the answer to that one, son.' Dirty old bugger...
(Thu 15th Jan 2004, 17:53, More)
Not really a lie as such, but...
As a youth, I'd never eaten a plum before. Upon asking my father 'What do Plums taste like Dad?', a thin smile curled round on his face, and he replied 'Only women and gay blokes know the answer to that one, son.' Dirty old bugger...
(Thu 15th Jan 2004, 17:53, More)
» Worst Record Ever
Anything by the Thrills... Ever.
Not just cause the singer has an irritating voice, or that all they do is whine about wanting to be in America all the time, but in June my Ex-flatmate bought the album and proclaimed in his smuggest voice that 'this is the record of our summer'... The prat.
(Thu 4th Dec 2003, 14:48, More)
Anything by the Thrills... Ever.
Not just cause the singer has an irritating voice, or that all they do is whine about wanting to be in America all the time, but in June my Ex-flatmate bought the album and proclaimed in his smuggest voice that 'this is the record of our summer'... The prat.
(Thu 4th Dec 2003, 14:48, More)