b3ta.com user AdrianJ
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Recent front page messages:


(Wed 3rd Mar 2021, 21:19, More)

All Apologies...

(Mon 28th Dec 2020, 0:58, More)

Little known fact: All four members of the band were named Robert...

(Thu 24th Dec 2020, 12:24, More)

Aw, come on... serves you right... that's right up there with not eating yellow snow!

(Wed 23rd Dec 2020, 0:29, More)

To celebrate International Piss Poor Punnage Day... It's not pretty...
Geddit? iSaw... not pretty... iSaw, it's an iSaw... Geddit? Geddit?
Ahhh... Please yourself!

(Fri 18th Dec 2020, 23:52, More)

All that, and with only one ball!

(Tue 15th Dec 2020, 1:45, More)

Ideal for maintaining your Pussy Wagon...

(Fri 11th Dec 2020, 0:57, More)

Check it again Don.

(Sun 8th Nov 2020, 22:05, More)

Quick and spiky...

(Sun 17th Nov 2019, 2:06, More)

Always been a nation of animal lovers...

(Mon 21st Oct 2019, 22:49, More)

I'll blow the dust off this pearoast for compo...

(Sun 13th Oct 2019, 15:30, More)

I do apologise...

(Sat 23rd Feb 2019, 19:16, More)

Abbey The Road

(Fri 8th Feb 2019, 23:47, More)

Is it really a prop swop though?

(Sat 26th Jan 2019, 12:31, More)

He's Greece Lightning!

(Mon 21st Jan 2019, 0:49, More)

If it doesn't load first time, turn the tape recorder up to eleven.

(Wed 16th Jan 2019, 16:47, More)

Greedy Gallifreyan...

(Sun 16th Dec 2018, 3:40, More)

Andy Capp Reload...

(Sun 9th Dec 2018, 18:50, More)

TOAP on a Rope...

(Sat 8th Dec 2018, 19:36, More)

With sympathy...

(Fri 15th Jun 2018, 19:11, More)

It's a Horror Moovie

(Sun 3rd Jun 2018, 1:02, More)

Hue Edwards

(Tue 22nd May 2018, 23:21, More)

Shirley Bindun?

(Sat 6th Jan 2018, 12:00, More)

Not too sure about 'Modern'?

(Sat 2nd Sep 2017, 16:58, More)

Oh Michael Eavis... Oh Michael Eavis...

(Sun 25th Jun 2017, 0:19, More)

Something to look forward to tomorrow - assuming you're not Welsh.

(Tue 5th Jul 2016, 18:55, More)

Boris has utilised his transferable skills to secure a new role high up in The City.

(Fri 1st Jul 2016, 20:17, More)

He took no chances!

(Thu 23rd Jun 2016, 23:51, More)

They may take our lives, but...

(Fri 17th Jun 2016, 0:01, More)


(Fri 3rd Jun 2016, 19:05, More)

Supreme Comedy...

(Sat 14th May 2016, 8:19, More)


(Thu 5th May 2016, 17:53, More)

You're never more than six feet away from a Mandarin Duck...

(Sat 26th Mar 2016, 9:04, More)

Ideal for preparing finger food...

(Sat 21st Nov 2015, 16:55, More)

To those of a certain age...

(Fri 20th Nov 2015, 15:26, More)

I'll take two...

(Thu 13th Aug 2015, 12:46, More)

And now a word from our sponsors...

(Fri 7th Aug 2015, 16:56, More)

Welly, welly, welly… viddy yon grazzy hipster yarblockos!

(Sun 19th Jul 2015, 18:32, More)

Look, some of us are just a little more equal than others...

(Sat 20th Jun 2015, 14:36, More)


(Mon 15th Jun 2015, 23:14, More)

I've always wondered what Dentists were on about...

(Sat 30th May 2015, 12:46, More)

Poor punnage warning...

(Fri 29th May 2015, 23:24, More)

Don't worry love. I'll give Ed a bell when we get in.

(Fri 8th May 2015, 18:03, More)

Shiny Happy People...

(Tue 28th Apr 2015, 12:05, More)

I'm Shappacus...

(Thu 23rd Apr 2015, 2:01, More)

Piss off Postie...

(Sun 19th Apr 2015, 19:04, More)

How the election should be decided...

(Sat 18th Apr 2015, 18:07, More)

Low Hummus Warning...

(Wed 15th Apr 2015, 13:58, More)

Highest one wins.

(Fri 3rd Apr 2015, 22:07, More)

You wouldn’t understand, you weren’t there man!

Click for bigger (214 kb)

(Thu 2nd Apr 2015, 0:38, More)

On a scale of one to ten, this should be Band!

(Mon 30th Mar 2015, 18:03, More)

The bastard could've reversed the charges!

(Fri 18th Feb 2011, 13:07, More)

With apologies to electech...
...cause I done stole a source Otter!

(Sat 24th Mar 2007, 13:31, More)

Roobarb and Retard.
...tenuous pearoast for compo

(Fri 9th Mar 2007, 21:12, More)

It's not big and it's not clever...

(Sun 11th Feb 2007, 11:56, More)

...and these Squizzers are crap too!

(Fri 16th Sep 2005, 22:18, More)

I don't know what it is about this painting...
...it's like the eyes follow you around the room?

(Sat 23rd Apr 2005, 23:20, More)

Remove the pixelation...
...and it all seems a little more innocent somehow.

(Wed 19th Jan 2005, 23:24, More)

Home Secretaries 4 Justice

(Fri 3rd Dec 2004, 23:52, More)

Just say NO!

(Fri 15th Oct 2004, 0:18, More)

I killed it yesterday...

(Fri 13th Aug 2004, 0:42, More)

Dance IKB my three inch clever friend...

(Sun 7th Mar 2004, 21:52, More)

From the wee small hours...
...comes a blatent pearoast. Well it is for Charidee!

(Thu 12th Feb 2004, 9:27, More)

Edvard Munch's "Fucked if I Know?" didn't do as well as "The Scream".

(Thu 22nd Jan 2004, 0:10, More)

Not sure why...
...but I did it anyway???

Coo an FP - Thanks.
(So that's why I did it)
(Sat 17th Jan 2004, 19:17, More)

Well, it is the natural progression really.

(Fri 9th Jan 2004, 23:14, More)

Shock Result...

An FP, does this mean I done good?
(Sun 14th Dec 2003, 21:35, More)

Best answers to questions:

» World's Sickest Joke

SMS Inbox - Thur 9th Sept 2004 19:21
S% Q{!T

/|Kd 4KKS? *&Re kj (owq safoq%5 #zs g'faga
J/sasa£ (dsffsS OKASS LQ @#E IAHlkj ~^£}

Sender: David Blunkett +442075554321
(Thu 9th Sep 2004, 19:31, More)

» Amazing displays of ignorance

Blaady Ingleesh!
Trying to alleviate the boredom of the office last week, my colleagues and I decided to pass a bit of time by playing a quick game of,”who lives in the most dangerous place?” One of my colleagues has the dubious pleasure of residing in the leafy London suburb of Lewisham, so was looking like a shoo-in for the award of, “most at risk of being mugged”. However, all thoughts of competition were quickly forgotten, when we ran into this little gem while checking her score:


Check out the table of crime figures, and then the first two comments underneath.
(Sun 21st Mar 2010, 0:29, More)

» Inventions You're Too Lazy To Make

If I can be bothered...
I plan to invent a clock that is so small and portable that it will fit in to ones pocket - or when used in conjunction with a tiny belt or bracelet - could even be worn on ones wrist. Then when one is out and about, the time of day can be discerned by simply viewing ones own miniature portable timepiece. I propose to call my inventions the Pocketglance and the Wristglance.
(Thu 8th Apr 2004, 1:54, More)