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» School Trips

Germanland!
Our shool had a 3 day trip to germany, (one day there, a day in germany and a day back), and well ......i dont like it! Anyway, on the way we stopped at a services and my friend had a burger from a dodgey lookin wimpy. Needless to say from then on every time we stopped, he took a crap in every service sation from crewe to london!

Not only that, but being the lads we all were in school, you couldent sleep on the coach as people kept messing about. Putting hola hoops and bits of paper in your mouth or clicking the arm rest down if you were sleeping on it.

When getting to germany i had reeeally bad stomach cramps, and had to walk about 2 miles around bastard germany. And being forced to eat a chicken curry, plus being forced to order something in the german language overall made me not like germany. And to top it off, some spac shit his pants on the way back, and the smell made me throw up when we got back!

But i'll give it one thing, before they were on the euro you could get a huge can of pepsi for like 0.30 deutch mark things!

Danny
(Sun 10th Dec 2006, 20:03, More)

» My sex misconceptions

Ahhhhh, the older boys!
Well like most other i learnt stuff from older lads. But my area being a tad rough (not a council estate, but still pretty bad) i learnt most of this stuff by the time i was about 4-5. (i also learnt a great deal from porn, and cosmo!!)

Anyway, a friend of mine didnt know shit all (infact i still wonder) and when asked what a dildo was......he said "isnt that an extict bird?". Now as if it wasent funny enough........we we're about 15, so we've never let it die.
(Sun 28th Sep 2008, 22:24, More)

» Ginger

On the school bus........


Well a log time ago, i was a wee knipper on the school bus. I had one or two good ginger friends at the time. This said ginger, we shall call liam, (for that was....etc).

So i dont know if this was a common place ginger reaction to thing, but basically if confronted in anyway, shape or form, this once nice......souless ginger lad, would turn into a crazy person and attack people. This was very known and highley comical as he was also a large fail in the attacking industry. Along comes my friend Richard (for that was his pasty or something), and hits poor liam over the head with a empty drink bottle. No so bad you say, well it was the top end that really.....well..........smarts. Liam then goes into one of his poorly timed fits and climbs over seats to attack this lad.

All in all, it was comical to say the least, and the ginger ended up getting sent home for attacking a pupil. Shocking.

Girth?
(Thu 25th Feb 2010, 23:24, More)

» Customers from Hell

Pubs..........
I used to work in this pub some time last year, and it was one of them "mainly-old-people-getting-pissed-at-10-a-m" sort of places.

Well the same guy came in (allready drunk at about 9am) and proceeded his normal day. I was behind the bar for the day. After a while he bought some people some drinks, and said he'd pay later.........well half an hour went by and still no payment, so when i asked, "I'm sorry mate, but its been a while and i need to ring the money into the til, could i ask you to pay for this coke you've bought for some persons kids", i got "OI, WHAT ARE YOU FUCKIN' SAYIN MATE, I'LL GIVE YOU SOME FUCKIN MONEY YOU BASTARD, HERES £500 ......... " .

From when he said, "...HERES £500" , He proceeded to throw his wallet at me behind the bar and refuse to be served by me, and there-fore barred himself in doing so.

PRICK!!

Girth?
(Thu 4th Sep 2008, 23:29, More)

» We have to talk

Does the law states that your first is a nutter?
Well yeah, ive been reading on here and it looks that way!

My first proper girlfriend was (at first) ok, but during the next year that i spent with her, she had made my whole family argue with each other, made me argue with her, faked pregnancy a total of 4 times in about 8 months of doing dirty deeds.......and to top it al off refused to give me oral sex any more!!!!

So i (actually being a nice guy) had found somebody else, but wasnt about to have a tarnished record by cheating on sombody, rang her with the "We need to talk...", which the converstation mainly consisted of me telling her i dont love her any more, i was a bit young to be going through all of this ( 16\17 at the time) and (she was talking about babies, marrige and moving in.....at 16 FFS!!) that i dident want to be with. At this point its all over the phone as i wanted to save her a one hour bus journy because shed have to go home afterwards, for again an hour, cryin like an idiot. But she suggested that she come down, and then it took me 2 M'fing days to get rid of her , (as in tell her to go home), but me being me i still acted all nice not to offend her greatly (early on in the relationship she had told me she used to self harm) so i was worried about her killing her self or something.

Long story short, she fucked off , tried the "ill go out with somebody else to get him back" card, which dident work as i dont care anymore, and im now with a great girl who went through the same shite with a guy, so we udnerstand what goes on with each other........and im about to move in with her! wooooooo.

Indeed

Girth
(Thu 26th Apr 2007, 14:41, More)
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