b3ta.com user markymoo
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» Stupid Tourists

Midlanders
Me and my lovely ex-wife were having lunch in a restaurant in Dinan, Brittany, a few years back. On the table next to us were a group of Midlanders who were complaining that the restaurant they had been to the previous night only provided the menu in French.

And living in Cornwall there's plenty of stupid tourists around. The signs that say "Don't not feed the seagulls" are actually there for a reason. Fuckwits!
(Fri 8th Jul 2005, 13:33, More)

» Fire!

Melting skin
When I was a kid I was a bit obsessed with fire.

One day, during the summer holidays when I was about 8, I decided that it would be a good idea to make a flaming catapult out of old lolly sticks and an elastic band.

After assembling my home made contraption I soon found out that lighting an elastic band was not a good idea when some of the molten rubber landen on the back of my hand and started to burn down through the skin.

I managed to run into the kitchen where my Mum ran my hand under water.

There was a lot of pain, but now I have a cool, round scar on the back of my hand - looks like someone has stubbed a cigarette on it.
(Mon 7th Nov 2005, 8:38, More)