» Out of my depth

so when i was, some may say, too young perhaps.
it was a long while back, dont remember all the details, but a girl asked me via AOL "so, you wana cyber?"

not knowing what that meant i naturally agreed. next thing you know i'm trying my best at this whole cyber sex thing and finding it rather boring.

then she stops talking, i wonder why. then i realise that i somehow made a typo of using L instead of S when trying to say somthing like "i kiss you madly"

so it would seem that shortly after losing my cyber virginity i accedently cyber raped the girl to death. very embarasing, had to clean the blood off of the chat window for an hour and then delete the corpse...
(Mon 18th Oct 2004, 10:04, More)

» Foot in Mouth Syndrome

oi, christmas fundraiser.
So back in high-school every year the marching band would have a gift wrap fundraiser. the students in band would wrap gifts under adult supervision in exchange for donations.

one day business was slow so a group of us where going out to advertise by walking around and letting people know that we existed. so on the way out the door the adult supervisor (a parent of one of my fellow students i was leaving with) says "remember to tell people about the gift wrapping!"

now to me this was the most obvious thing in the world, since it was the entire reason we where leaving in the first place. so overcome by disgust in their stating of the painfully obvious I responded "oh thanks, I was going to go around telling people to go f**k themselves, yours sounds better though" before i had a chance to catch myself. it was the longest sentence to ever accidentally slip out of my mouth and it haunted me for a good hour or two.
(Wed 21st Apr 2004, 21:08, More)

» Best Comebacks

well, not a insult exactly
my freshman year college roommate was one of those people who consults the bible before they butter their toast. one day i am downloading music and i say in surprise "hey, someone made a techno remix of Vivaldi"

"who?" he asks

"who? Vivaldi, he's a famous classical composer"

"never heard of him"

"never heard of him? he's Vivaldi, how have you never even heard of Vivaldi?"

"look, he's old and he's dead, he's not important."

"well so is jesus, but you seem to think he's important"
(Fri 30th Apr 2004, 7:14, More)

» I just don't get it

why we insist on using Fahrenheit
when the rest of the world uses Celsius. and why can't we just use the metric system?
(Thu 31st Mar 2005, 17:26, More)

» My Worst Date

what?
besides that time i thought it was a date and she didn't?
(Mon 25th Oct 2004, 5:34, More)