b3ta.com user rodeopig
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» Going Too Far

Pig Trampolining
My mates parents used to run a pig farm in the pre-divorce years and the Dad is a bit twisted in general. Being a large farm quite a few pigs would die, as they do. So he used to pull out the dead piggies from the pens and leave them for later collection, quite often for ages in baking sunshine. Duly the croaked piggies would swell up with gas and my mates Dad told us that if we jumped on the bellies we could use them as trampolines. It was ace fun until they popped.
(Sat 11th Nov 2006, 18:00, More)

» Dad Jokes

oh just remembered....
sorry yes my old papa does have a crappy joke. ive suffered 20years of this.....

Me, my brother or sister: "Dad where's Mum".
Dad: "run off with a black man".

jesus pissing christ this is so not funny.
(Thu 11th Dec 2003, 16:59, More)

» Shit Stories

Poo Boy
This kid I used to go school with was very weird and I've only just realised his strange poo obsession:

First he got caught doing poo graffiti in primary school toilets, then he got caught aged 14 shagging a really old pile of horse poo. Really this is true.
(Fri 7th May 2004, 13:53, More)

» Dad Jokes

Not really crap but really funny
My Dad 's annecdotes are so funny; i cant really think of him ever saying a crap one. (sorry). He's Irish and his accent just makes them funnier! well here's some gems;

large lady walks past- (not fat mind)- "cor she's a good breeder"!

If your relectant to do something- "ahragh your like a dog fcukin a bag of nails".

Managing Director told my Dad to do something he didn't like once so he said "Fcuk off, your nothing more than a dirty whore". (his accent makes it sound like who-er)This was reported and he went before the full board who asked him many times to repeat EXACTLY what he said to the M.D. Surprisingly the M.D got fired! i think it had something to do with claiming that the M.D hated him because my Dad is Southern Ireland Catholic and M.D was a Northern Irish Protestant. could qualify for biggest lie to.

My Dad's great!
(Thu 11th Dec 2003, 16:36, More)