b3ta.com user MrFaberge
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» Why will you burn in hell?

Gonna Burn in Hell
When I was a younger man than what I am now, must've been the early 1980's, I was into CB radio. I met some people down in the Welsh Valleys, and was invited back to this familys house for a cup of tea.
Anyway, when we went inside the guys house a typical terrace house, there was a Budgerigar in a cage by the door. The guy said he'd had this bird for about 5 years and it was his best friend! (I know...typical Welsh, they love their pets!) he proceeded to make me a cuppa, whilst I decided to curry favour and talk to his budgie through the cage... "Whose a pretty boy then?"..."Hello Bobby!".... "Who loves his Daddy?"..... When and I still don't know why I did it... I made a cat meow sound through my teeth, where upon Bobby the Budgie appeared to have a massive heart attack and fell off his perch!
I didn't know what to do, so in panic I reached into the cage and propped dear departed Bobby against the side of the cage, on top of his feeding trough. I quickly sat down as the guy brought me in a cup of tea. For some strange reason he didn't check the bird on the way back in. It was all I could do to keep him off the subject of budgies or sex with sheep, and I quickly made my excuses to get out of there sharpish, and never to return.
As I drove away leaving the guy on his doorstep waving goodbye, I thought if there's a hell I'm gonna burn. Worse than that though I turned on my CB radio, and there's this irate Welsh voice yelling on the open channel "That Bastard Killed My Fucking Budgie!!!"
I turned the radio back off for at least 2 weeks, and it seemed to go away.
(Sun 15th Jul 2012, 11:17, More)

» Narrow Escapes

School Bus
I was about 11 years old, just started at my new senior school, and one of the new boys in an all boys school. My girlfriend who went to the local girls school used to meet me outside my school on her way home. This one day I came out of school and it was crowded with boys on the roadside waiting for their bus, the other side of this crowd I could see my gf Diane waiting a bit further up, so I stepped out into the road to call to her, when Whallop!!! I was hit by the school bus into the crowd of boys knocking a few of them side ways like pins on a 10 pin bowling alley.
I was OK so were the other boys, a bit shook up... they had to scrap that bus though!!! and as for Diane she didn't even notice it... Bitch!!!
(Sun 22nd Aug 2010, 18:02, More)

» When animals attack...

I went to Hong Kong about 5 years ago, and was attacked by a monkey whilst eating my lunch. It grabbed my arm and started hitting me about the shoulder and back. By the time I'd retaliated, it's buddy had grabbed my food, and they both ran off laughing at me.
(Thu 9th Jun 2005, 11:06, More)