» Shoddy Presents

My worst present was given to me by a Shopping Mall Santa.....
I was too young to remember, but this is what mum tells me happened. I know it's true because the photo was brought out for my 21st birthday.
I had shoulder-length hair at the time.
The conversation between Mum and Santa went like this:

Santa: What a lovely girl. What's her name?
Mum: HIS name is Adam!
Santa: That is such a beautiful name.

Santa gave me a packet of "shopping accessories", which contained a handbag, dangly ear-rings (Shut up! It was the 80s!) and a necklace, which was all pink.

Although my mum came very close to matching it 2 years ago by giving me a "Garden Fairies" calendar (with the 99 cent "clearance" sticker still attached) and a can of deoderant.
(Thu 23rd Sep 2004, 11:27, More)

» Mugged

What were they thinking?!
It was a few years back now. Was mugged for my wallet by a couple of blacks at the bus stop.
Funny thing is they got caught after trying to use my ID (bearing in mind that I'm white) to purchase some liquor.
(Fri 16th Jun 2006, 13:18, More)

» Singing the wrong words

Queen - Bisexual Race
If there was one Queen song bad enough to make a dirty parody of, it's Bicycle Race. I made it up after I heard for the first time about Freddie's preference for men.

"All I wanna do is......bisexuals! Bisexuals! Bisexuals!
I want to ride my bisexual,
I want to ride my bi.
I want to ride my bisexual,
I want to ride him where I lie."
(Mon 31st Jan 2005, 8:42, More)

» Strange things you've been paid to do

Heh heh heh, he said "boner".
I've just got a job at a meat processing plant and I'm going to be paid to be a boner.
(Wed 6th Oct 2004, 20:06, More)

» Walkman Flashbacks

b3ta has fucked with my head............
I was reading the "Wanking Disasters" question, and came across Shrub Rocketeer's reply.
Now everytime I hear "Just A Little" by Liberty X, it makes me think of wanking.

Not of doing it, just wanking in general.
(Tue 29th Mar 2005, 7:29, More)