» Urban Legends

The 27th...
I managed to convince half of my year group in junior school that there was a secret 27th letter in the alphabet that the teachers didnt want you to know about!
It was a proud day...
(Thu 5th Jan 2006, 19:19, More)

» The Dirty Secrets of Your Trade

Dirty Trade Secrets...
Charging £100 for a washer and some duck tape! Ill find you you bastard plumber!
(Fri 28th Sep 2007, 20:48, More)

» Mugged

...Mugged You Say
Used to work for a delivery firm (won't say which one) *cough*RoyalMAIL!*endcough* and I left the van door open like a dick. Went round the back of a house in chapeltown in leeds to deliver a parcel and came back round, some fuckers were hanging out the front of my van trying to rob the radio (to be honest if they had asked me nicely I would have just given it to them). They scooted off and I had a look around, the 27p in the ashtray was gone and so was one of the winding handles for the window, a bag of parcels (far too much paperwork if you ever get mail in your custordy stolen, partly why i quit) and my insulated mug. Technically a mugging! and it had a half mug of nescafe in it... Bastards!
(Mon 19th Jun 2006, 21:13, More)

» Too much information

Being Of Medical Background...
I am a nurse, who lives with other nurses, and have a lot of doctors and paramedics for friends so naturally (and partly because we are all a bit geeky with work) you all have a bit of a laugh and a giggle at each others stories, needless to say; when you are released back in to the general public your stories tend not to go down too well...

While out with some friends of my girlfriend one plesent summers evening, somebody happened to mention that they had seen a particually disgusting documentary the misfortunes of people who undergo cosmetic surgery, cue me explaining in graphic detail about the worse "designer vagina" mishap I had ever seen (or more the point, redressed its green potent smelling gunge daily).

Cue, the Girlfriends friends (and the girlfriend) looking rather intently between their legs grimacing trying to imagine what a vagina would look like, after a surgeon meat grinded it, rubbed it with dirt and got it nice and infected...

Only I seemed to enjoy my calzone after that...

In fairness though, as a nurse, you just forget your doing it...
(Sat 8th Sep 2007, 3:04, More)

» The most cash I've ever carried

Hug The Money!!!
I used to work in BHS as a saturday job and quite often I worked in the cash office when the shop floor closed.
The saturday of the weekend before christmas, we collected the counter cash and worked out that infront of us was £125,000 in cash and cheques. with another £100,000 in credit card reciepts. I therefore proceeded to hug 125,000 dirty english pounds and it felt mighty fine!
Bastards wouldnt let me take any home though... £5.85 an hour my arse!
(Thu 22nd Jun 2006, 17:07, More)