b3ta.com user SirPsycho
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» Obscure Memorabilia

Video games of the stars...
This is a sad admission...

Keith Chegwin is a family friend, who came to me for advice on what video game console to buy to play flight sims. This being the early 90s, I advised him to buy a Sega Megadrive.

Anyway, when he got bored of it, I bought it off him. So I own Cheggers old Megadrive!

Have some of that!
(Fri 5th Nov 2004, 10:42, More)

» Clients Are Stupid

Posh Sods
I used to work on the Customer Services line of a chain of supermarkets which somehow have a reputation for attracting the more upmarket person.

Once, an old woman called me to tell me she'd found mouse droppings in her sugar. I started to apologise and ask her to send the offending item to us, then she told me not to worry - her husband had died the day before, and he had a terrible habit of putting his spoon into the coffee granules, then into the sugar bowl...

...I didn't know whether to laugh or cry...
(Mon 29th Dec 2003, 15:34, More)

» Singing the wrong words

Oh sit down...
To the tune of James' Sit Down:

Oh sit down, oh sit down
Sit down on my face
Sit down, sit down, sit down, sit down, sit do-own
I like the taste...
(Wed 2nd Feb 2005, 11:57, More)

» Have you ever started a fire?

Science Lesson + Crucible + Paraffin = Pyromania
The instruction sheet for the science lesson was simple - "put two/three drops of paraffin into a crucible"...

Unfortunately, our experiment group was ordered to accommodate the div kid, who filled the crucible to the rim with fuel, then torched it.

The 12 inch high flame was quite good fun until the science teacher clocked it, and dashed towards us with a wet tea-towel. The paraffin spread over the table, and so did the fire...

Oh, how I look back with fondness...
(Wed 3rd Mar 2004, 9:37, More)