b3ta.com user uptonogood
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well ..Aussie guy living in Amsterdam, big Zak Mcflimby fan, loves b3ta, especially QOTW.

tot ziens

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» Shame

oh the shame..

When i was living in Redfern.

I returned early from a holiday on the coast,leaving my girlfreind behind, and leaving me with the house all to myself for a week.

So anyway, watching telly that evening i am taking advantage of the fact, and cracking one off to an "oz aerobics" video my gf owned, when the front door lock clicked and i caught a glimpse of the lovely lady from across the road through the window.

She had come to feed the cat.

I'd totally forgotten.

I made the mad leap, pants around the ankles, across the lounge room to the door just as it was opening, and pushed it shut in her face, but she knew.

I still burn with shame when i think about it, she was such a cool neighbour.

oh well
(Fri 25th Nov 2005, 11:23, More)

» Cheating cheaty cheats

cheaty cheats,,,,,,
I love cheating against my little niece when we play board games. If she looks away for even a second i move my piece forward a few squares, fix the dice etc.

She looks at me , then back at the board, and her mouth drops open and her eyes get all huge, like she can't believe her uncle would cheat her at snakes and ladders.

Well sorry honey, its payback for all the times your good old dad used to cheat me..

And i tell her, "its all good practice for when your little brother grows up", then she can cheat him and the cycle will continue.

(Fri 18th Nov 2005, 14:13, More)

» Panic Buying

for christmas this year//
My sister got me "22 golden trumpet hits" on tape.


She owned up and admitted she found it on the floor of her car the day before christmas.
(Wed 28th Dec 2005, 10:09, More)

» Essential Items

this is a bit irrelevant, but..
A colleugue and I have worked in several different offices of the same company, some in England and some in the Netherlands. Everywhere we go we take a beautiful ceramic squirrel with us. He is about 20cm high and hand painted, with beady little glass eyes ( yup, its pretty vile ).
We take Liam (for that is his name ) with us everywhere in honour of the 100+ squirrels that found themselves in Amsterdam airport, without the correct health documents, after flying in as cargo from the Ukraine.

For one reason or another, the lovely ikkle squirrels could not be returned to Kiev, and they can't be released in the Netherlands, so a decision was made to destroy them ( I would say that a decision was made to destroy them humanely, but that wouldn't really be true ).

The story goes that they were fed into one of those wood chipping machines, and their litte bushy tails were shredded and scattered over the exit to runway 3.

Liam comes everywhere with us. He might not be "essential".. but he is a good reminder that behind the calm, freindly facade of most Dutchmen, lies a ruthless squirrel killer.

(Fri 28th Oct 2005, 11:43, More)

» On the stage

on my knees
It was in a talent quest at high school, i was playing air-guitar, miming to Europe's "the final countdown" while a group of girls danced around on stage, in a sort of anti-war dance-music fest..


at one point i was meant to run across the
stage and slide on my knees to the front of the stage, pulling my best guitar-solo face.

I managed to slide right across the stage and off the end into the terrified front row of year 7's


Maybe this should have gone in last weeks question, but everyone who saw it said it looked pretty cool.
(Fri 2nd Dec 2005, 15:09, More)
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