» Losing Your Virginity

hmm, virginity ey??
your mum, in the back of an ice-cream truck with the music playing to let teh kids know we've run out of ice cream

(had to be done)

talking to a mate who had anal done to her, described the after effects as "having an arse like the flag of Japan"

true story

i'm gonna get shot for this ain't i?
(Thu 3rd Mar 2005, 19:16, More)

» Guilty Pleasures

also
i like to take the bottom basket out of my freezer, take out everything inside it, plunge it into my sink and observe my washing up underwater
(Tue 12th Apr 2005, 14:39, More)

» Beautiful Moments

ahh, beutiful moments
early in the morning
as the earth lay cool and still
a little bird flew to me
and sat on my windowsill
it sang a song so lovely
so carefree and so gay
that slowly all my troubles
began to slip away
it sang a song of laughter
of hapiness and fun
it seemed he's very trilling
brought up the morning sun
i crept beneath the covers
slowly rose out of my bed
and quickly shut the window
and crushed his fcuking head


i am NOT a morning person
(Fri 11th Mar 2005, 11:12, More)

» Best Comebacks

ONE THAT WORKS
HER: go and get {insert items here, NOT THAT ITEM}

ME: what did your last slave die of??

HER: BACKCHAT!!!!!
(Fri 30th Apr 2004, 9:14, More)

» Breakin' The Law

how the hell did it happen
this ain't very interesting, but hey, thats life.
i'm a biker and i love to bike, i once was cycling through a small village near me (in Cumbria) and i got a caution by the coppers, why?? because i was speeding!
i was doing 35 mph in a 30 zone, and since it wasn't a liscenced vehicle, i couldn't get a ticket. it was embarrasin enough anyways coz me school bus came past at the time.
I still haven't lived it down
(Thu 8th Jan 2004, 11:40, More)