Profile for shambla:
Its me 
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Best answers to questions:
- a member for 20 years, 2 months and 27 days
- has posted 1970 messages on the main board
- (of which 18 have appeared on the front page)
- has posted 1 messages on the talk board
- has posted 34 messages on the links board
- (including 20 links)
- has posted 4 stories and 0 replies on question of the week
- They liked 49 pictures, 9 links, 1 talk posts, and 3 qotw answers.
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Its me Photobucket Gallery
Recent front page messages:
Little known celebrity facts #346 : Stevie Wonder kicks ass at Counter Strike
(Sat 22nd Jan 2005, 17:00, More)
(Sat 22nd Jan 2005, 17:00, More)
Best answers to questions:
» I just don't get it
Shoe shops
Why is it that when I go to a shoe shop and ask for a size ten pair of plimsolls, after an hour of storeroom rummaging the assistant comes back and says
“Sorry Sir, we don’t have a 10, but we do have a 4.”
What fucking use is that?
“That's a fucking stroke of luck, I can wear that one on my other polio-ridden Jeremy Beadle foot”
(Tue 5th Apr 2005, 12:46, More)
Shoe shops
Why is it that when I go to a shoe shop and ask for a size ten pair of plimsolls, after an hour of storeroom rummaging the assistant comes back and says
“Sorry Sir, we don’t have a 10, but we do have a 4.”
What fucking use is that?
“That's a fucking stroke of luck, I can wear that one on my other polio-ridden Jeremy Beadle foot”
(Tue 5th Apr 2005, 12:46, More)
» Shit Stories
Bit long I am afraid, but it’s always made me laff.
Somehow some friends and I had managed to get invited to a vague acquaintance's house warming party. Having been viewed with suspicion for the evening, being virtual strangers to everyone else at the party, things were not exactly going swimmingly. Anyway, all of a sudden one of my mates runs into the front room and announces that its time we were going. Presuming that he was as bored as the rest of us, we followed. It was only on the walk home that the truth came out. My mate had gone to the newly decorated bathroom for a peaceful shit. About half way through someone had knocked on the door. As he got up and flushed he realised that the turd he had produced was massive and particularly buoyant. After a couple more flushes and more frantic knocking at the door he decided more drastic action was required. Spotting a loo brush he decided it would be a good idea to push the offending turd down the u-bend with it. After a good rummage he looked down to find that, success, the beast had gone. But then, to his horror he realised it had not flushed, but was stuck to the loo brush. Not to worry, one flick of the wrist would send it back into the bowl. Unfortunately, the faeces were removed on the backstroke of the flick and were splashed across the wall. Now with mad door rattling and knocking coming from outside, my mate set about ‘removing the evidence.’ Unluckily there was only a brand new set of white towels to do it with. After another ten minutes smearing excreta around the walls, in the sink and around the toilet bowl he decided to give up. Opening the door to a desperate looking girl he announced in a moment of bizarre excuse making, “there were some scallys in here but I chased them off.” This was the moment he came running into the front room. He has never lived it down.
(Thu 6th May 2004, 9:02, More)
Bit long I am afraid, but it’s always made me laff.
Somehow some friends and I had managed to get invited to a vague acquaintance's house warming party. Having been viewed with suspicion for the evening, being virtual strangers to everyone else at the party, things were not exactly going swimmingly. Anyway, all of a sudden one of my mates runs into the front room and announces that its time we were going. Presuming that he was as bored as the rest of us, we followed. It was only on the walk home that the truth came out. My mate had gone to the newly decorated bathroom for a peaceful shit. About half way through someone had knocked on the door. As he got up and flushed he realised that the turd he had produced was massive and particularly buoyant. After a couple more flushes and more frantic knocking at the door he decided more drastic action was required. Spotting a loo brush he decided it would be a good idea to push the offending turd down the u-bend with it. After a good rummage he looked down to find that, success, the beast had gone. But then, to his horror he realised it had not flushed, but was stuck to the loo brush. Not to worry, one flick of the wrist would send it back into the bowl. Unfortunately, the faeces were removed on the backstroke of the flick and were splashed across the wall. Now with mad door rattling and knocking coming from outside, my mate set about ‘removing the evidence.’ Unluckily there was only a brand new set of white towels to do it with. After another ten minutes smearing excreta around the walls, in the sink and around the toilet bowl he decided to give up. Opening the door to a desperate looking girl he announced in a moment of bizarre excuse making, “there were some scallys in here but I chased them off.” This was the moment he came running into the front room. He has never lived it down.
(Thu 6th May 2004, 9:02, More)
» People with Stupid Names
Was at university
with a Malaysian called Kok hang Lo, apparently it didnt though.
(Sun 29th Aug 2004, 15:03, More)
Was at university
with a Malaysian called Kok hang Lo, apparently it didnt though.
(Sun 29th Aug 2004, 15:03, More)