» Petty Sabotage

I sabotaged my friends' April Fools Joke
They (Sharon and James) invented a society called the National Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Plants (NSPCP) and stuck leaflets through all our friends doors asking for donations.

We (Me and Alex) invented a poor befuddled man called Jonathan Fanshawe-Crooke who had accidentally got hold of one of these flyers and wanted to join the society, as his wife had recently left him and all he had left were his spider plants.

A series of emails began flying back and forth, our friends playing along with poor Mr Fanshawe -Crooke's delusions of helping the plants that had kept him company all his life - even when he was a baby and his morphine-addled nurse left him alone in his crib for hours on end.

Then his friends got involved. One was a professor of Botany at Glasgow University, and knew that no such society as the NSPCP existed. He insisted that they apologise immediately, or he would inform the police.

They did eventually, crapping their pants the whole time.

Then we sent them an email from the "real" NSPCP (National Society for the Protection and Conservation of Porpoises, in case you were wondering...) asking them to remove any reference to their fraudulent society from the internet, as they were receiving complaints. We proceeded to convince them to join. Sent them t-shirts and everything.

They only caught on then, when they received two t-shirts saying "NSPCP - April Fools" in the post. Actually, they only got it when me and Alex fell off our chairs laughing.

It lasted 3 months. I blame them for my not doing any Psychology revision in the run up to my A-Levels. So I also accidentally sabotaged my own A-Levels.

Damn...
(Tue 10th May 2005, 0:52, More)

» Siblings

My baby sister
She made up her first ever joke when she was 4 (she's now 24 and won't thank me for repeating it):

What do you call a lion with no eyes?
A no-eye-lion.


Genius.
(Tue 6th Jan 2009, 16:11, More)

» Singing the wrong words

eiffel 65
I'm Blue
In Aberdeen I will die
In Aberdeen I will die
etc etc
(Fri 28th Jan 2005, 5:29, More)

» People with Stupid Names

I went to secondary school...
...with a girl who was called Crystal Mayes. Although she was born well before Richard O'Baldy came up with the idea, she understandably hated her parents by the time she reached the age of 12.
(Thu 26th Aug 2004, 22:11, More)

» The last thing that made me cry

last time I cried...
...was when my cat was really sick. We took him to the vets the next day, he was barely moving or breathing. I was utterly devastated, with the major guilt you get about not loving them *enough* just before they go to the big litterbox in the sky (I've loved all my cats to pieces and I always feel like that when they die). The little shit had nothing wrong with him and was putting it on for attention. He proceeded to throw up all over the floor every day for two weeks just for a laugh, watching as we sleepily trod in his still steaming trail of partially digested "rabbit". Git.

(still love him though)
(Thu 14th Apr 2005, 21:47, More)