b3ta.com user Dekazer
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Cor, missed my 8th b3taday by 11 days. That's because I no longer come here.

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Best answers to questions:

» Hidden Treasure

A cow orker's
building was being renovated. As the outside masory was removed to be replaced, the builders made a grisly but salutory find. A dead cat, and a dead rat, still standing, facing each other, poised to pounce.

Clearly neither had been the bigger mammal, and backed down first, and they had starved to death.. That'll learn the little furry buggers.
(Fri 1st Jul 2005, 15:15, More)

» Stupid Tourists

My best pal
has travelled the world many times, and has alwyas been one of those arsey travellers who go on about wanting to experience local cultures and get off the beaten track. *sigh*

When we first visited Bangkok as fresh young 19 year olds we met a chap frying insects on the street. Elle decided she would try one. She gestured to the man with her fingers, trying to ask if she could just stick the whole body in her gob. The vendor (presumably assuming she was asking whether she could eat it) nodded happily. So she ate the cicada whole, crunchy wings and legs and all. Nearly choked, didn't enjoy it, but no doubt felt very authentic.

The guy looked at her in horror, picked one up, and slowly and deliberately peeled off all the wings, shell, legs and ate the tiny morsel of flesh that remained. Must have thought Elle was a complete twat :)
(Fri 8th Jul 2005, 15:19, More)

» Shoddy Presents

Not ungrateful...
I live in Scotland, but my family are still mostly in London, so presents get packaged and posted. I think my mother rather resents the postage, as she hates to send a parcel with the slightest bit of spare space. To fill it, she grabs random stuff that's lying around her house.

For my recent birthday I received, in a box, a book, some chocolate, a cake, free shampoo sachets from a magazine, some spice stuff for adding to roast tatties, a sachet of microwaveable porridge (?!?), one of her headscarves (I'm 25 not 45), and a scented bin liner. Just one scented bin liner. She's quite normal in all other respects...

She also paid for my best present, my new scaffold piercing, so sometimes she gets in right :D
(Thu 23rd Sep 2004, 14:15, More)

» Guilty Pleasures

I'm a 25 year old
university researcher with a first class degree, but I can't get enough of Take a Break, Chat, That's Life, even stooping to Woman, Woman's Own, Bella and Best when I get desperate. Fucking sad, but I just can't get enough. I just don't tell anyone..
(Thu 7th Apr 2005, 16:04, More)

» Embarrassing Injuries

Partially my fault..
Thankfully this didn't end in hospitalisation, or lasting damage, but rather embarrassing.

Fairly soon after I started seeing my ex, he phoned me, practically incoherent, in a rage bleating on about my hair. My hair is pretty long, past my waist, and it does tend to get everywhere. The poor sod had awoken in agony to find that one of the hairs I had kindly deposited in his bed has wrapped itself tightly around his bell end, which was turning increasingly blue.

A bit like a toad caught in a length of discarded fishing line, his poor manhood was bulging around its ligature, making removal of the hair absolute agony. He's got a few piercings, but maintains that it was the most painful experience of his life so far.

We did stay together for more than a year after that, and we're still great friends, but it could so very easily have ended there and then.

EDIT: Just spazzed back, do I know you timberwolf0122? Or is this a common phenomenon? (PS If it's you, see you on Saturday to go for more piercings :D )
(Tue 7th Sep 2004, 15:59, More)
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