b3ta.com user counterblast to agnosticism
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» Stuff You've Overheard

Needs to be said in a scouse accent
1. I was on the train from Bootle into Liverpool one evening about 10 years ago, and there were two 50-something women sat opposite me with very strong scouse accents. The first one asked the second one what she'd bought from 'Marksies' to which the second one replied, 'Are ay, I've bought some of that kwitchee (quiche)for our tea!'

2. Same journey, different day - three young lads were having a very serious discussion about the best way to commit suicide. It was all mundane stuff until one piped up, 'I'd chop me 'ead off wiv a samurai sword, cos they're the sharpest swords in the world so yer 'ead would come clean off like!'

3. Someone once overheard my mates reminiscing about their time at university in the Black Country. The earwigger in question then tapped one of them on the shoulder and said, 'A lot of my friends are from South Africa and I take great offence at the way you are talking their country.' The bloke looked a tad sheepish when my mate explained that the Black Country was just north of Birmingham.
(Thu 10th Jun 2004, 12:28, More)

» Stuff You've Overheard

more bristolian types
My workmate just told me about one of the old dear who used to work in our building. being an old dear, she tended to get the lift rather than the stairs. One day, my workmate was in the lift with her and as the lift took off suddenly, she said, 'Ooh, these lifts don't 'alf jerk you off!'
(Thu 10th Jun 2004, 13:18, More)

» Going Too Far

going too far
My mate offered to give me a lift from Bristol to Cardiff the other night, but when I woke up we were just approaching Swansea. He'd definitely gone too far
(Tue 14th Nov 2006, 15:46, More)

» Irrational Fears

If someone is brushing their teeth in the toilets at work I have to run out with my hands over my ears. Even the sight of a toothbrush makes me squirm.Although it could be a general bristle thing. I had to give up a gardening apprenticeship cos I coudln't sweep leaves up of patios as the noise went right through me. Is this normal?

When we were little and the ice-cream man rang his chimes....
(Fri 30th Jan 2004, 13:09, More)