» My Worst Date

2 stories- i wirite this as i am drunk atm
tonight was my schools unofficial sixth form social.

this means lower and upper sixths under the influence of alcohol. You get the picture. A great night.

Well not for my mate. Hes into this girl, and shes into him. Cept she keeps going away and gettin off with other guys. me, being the nice guy i am try to play cupid and get these fuckers together. No fucking way, if they see each other they have an arguement, and if i try to get them to come over is ends up costing me money. eg "buy me a drink and i'll go talk to him" They do, but she blows him off saying "its not my fucking loss". *NB*Shes my art teachers daughter!!

end of that story then, we're plannin revenge on the bitch atm. Shame that Q's already bin asked

I had a brilliant night tho.

* at the end i got a lift home off some friend of a friend. my mate was in the front seat, where i was in the back. My mate blew chunks. out the window. At 60 mph. I got covered. But as i handle my alcohol so well, i thought it was hilarious and threw some of the chunks back at the fucker. My mate in the other side of the car started laughing then threw up as he did so. Im just on the comp after runnin round my mams looking toilet roll and plastic bags to try and clean up the vom. *

good shit! second post! WOO
EDIT- In hindsight i realise this is my 12th post and this post was mostly about some other guy... enjoy it anyway people!
(Wed 27th Oct 2004, 2:22, More)

» Mini Cabs From Hell

Sorry mate. You weren't meant to hear me
After quite a few drinks I had to get the taxi home with a slightly more drunk female friend.

Having got my seatbelt on with my drunken dexterity and settled, I loudly proclaimed to my friend "Watch out *name*, this cabbie looks like the type that would rape you if you gave him the chance"

I havent been in a cab since. Or out with that girl. but I got home. Guy tried to have a cabbie to customer conversation. By then I was only able to form a series of grunts which I think the guy understood...

Oh yeah, and nothing more worse than a cabbie chatting up your mum. with hilarious results.
(Thu 27th May 2004, 0:05, More)

» Useless Information

polar bears
the hairs are both transparent and hollow - they absorb water, making them seem white to us, and increasing the furs warmth keeping properties (as water is a damn good insulator.

...i think...
(Thu 17th Mar 2005, 16:45, More)

» Singing the wrong words

mum
my mum thought that "everybody in the club get tipsy" was "everybody got glow big tits". i dont know the name of the song tho.
(Mon 31st Jan 2005, 0:21, More)

» Obscure Memorabilia

bottle of coke
I have a bottle of coke that went out of date november 1998. Its not blackish brown anymore- its red and has a glow when light is shone throught it. Im gonna drink it on my deathbed.*


*that said i will prob die from drinking it in the first place.
(Fri 5th Nov 2004, 14:59, More)