» Crap meals out

Right then,
This one time, I went out with a mate of mine. She was a vegan, and she always gave me dirty looks when the waiter asked "What can I get you?" and I would reply "Whatever, steak I guess, just make sure something had to die for my meal!" On one occasion she she had been nagging me the hole time I was trying to eat my "Murdered Animal" so I just said "Shut it you fucking bint! If you don't shut your cunt-hole I'll eat YOU!" I then left.

Good steak too.
(Sun 30th Apr 2006, 2:03, More)

» Worst Nicknames Ever

A mate of mine,
His name is Steve, but he was dubbed Steve the Cunt. We gave out a "Cunt of the month award" every month, and he won, everytime.

And we never shortened it. One time he almost got hit by a car, I yelled out "Steve the cunt! watch out!"
(Thu 18th May 2006, 18:43, More)

» Booze Related Disasters

Oh me, oh my
I'm sure you all remember the North American Eastern seaboard being in a total blackout last august. well, my friend and I assumed that the world was ending so, we should drink untill we don't care. He has a bottle of tequila, rum, gin, sambucca, and i belive there was whisky involved. At any rate, we sat in the dark, with candles drinking continuously for about 20 hours. At this point, we decided we needed to defend ourselfs against looters, so we barracaded ourselves in the basement for 3 days, untill i turned on a lamp we found in storage, and realized the power had been on for two days.
(Fri 19th Mar 2004, 4:16, More)

» Heckles

Velvet Revolver
Me and my mate went to see Velvet Revolver last march (We got front row by the way)

Some shit emo band was opening for them, and between their songs a bloke yells out "Fuck off! I want to party with Slash! Get off the fucking stage!" The lead singer replies "Why don't you come here and say that?"

Cue a full water bottle thrown directly into the lead singers face.

I found it funny.
(Mon 10th Apr 2006, 2:30, More)

» Scary Neighbours

My neighbors are twunts
I live in an apartment with my girl,
All day and all night they fight, thier young son plays in the hallway. One night at 3am or so, they were at it again. At the time me and the lady friend were, "Getting busy" I got pissed off threw my pants on, walked across the hall, knocked on the door. The scumbag husband answered, and said "What the fuck do you want honkie?" He's from some country in the middle east so i assumed he wasn't accoustomed to our code of conduct in canada. I replied "Shut the fuck up!" and punched him right in the face.

Not a peep in two weeks.

Oh and i saw the guy leaving his flat while i was comming home, he had a bandaged nose, i said "Remember our little talk eh" and made a fist.
(Mon 29th Aug 2005, 9:04, More)