b3ta.com user toadfish
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» Claims to Fame

I pissed off Lemmy
Many moons ago when Motorhead were playing the Guilford Festival, I got a little carried away with it all and launched a beer can into the crowd, like you do. Unfortunately for me and for Lemmy, the can passed over its intended target and hit Lemmy square in the guitar. Throwing beer all over the warty metal head. He stopped the gig and berated me in front of a couple thousand people. He said that if I wanted a fight to come on stage and face him like a man. (not bloody likely) And not to hide in the crowd like some sort of pussy. Another band member then piped up saying that only applied to one person in the crowd (me) and not the rest of you who are cool. All of you are cool except that one guy (me). My mate was nearly beaten up by two massive Motorhead fans who thought he was the perpetrator. Ah well, my brush with celebrity.
(Fri 25th Feb 2005, 14:43, More)

» Misunderstood

We've caught loads
I went fishing with some friends at a local lake, I’m not a fisherman, nor will I ever be, it was more of an excuse to get strunk whilst sitting somewhere nice. Anyway, this women walking her dog comes over to us and declares ‘there is no fish in here’ to which I responded ‘I beg to differ, we’ve caught loads’ She looked a little pissed off and continued walking, when it finally clicked, ‘no fish in here’ was actually ‘no fishing here’
(Mon 10th Oct 2005, 16:11, More)

» Toilets

Amsterdam Toilet Fun
In Amsterdam they have these disgusting gents’ urinals that go straight into the canals. There is always a good inch of piss covering the floor and you can see into them.

During New Year celebrations the streets are awash with fireworks and lot of entertainment can be gained from throwing firecrackers into the toilets when they are full of wasted tourists. People will finish up really quickly and get out, for the unlucky ones there is a loud bang followed by a filthy piss shower.
I love Amsterdam.
(Mon 5th Sep 2005, 11:20, More)

» Beautiful Moments, Part Two

in the hours leading up to the World Cup Final.
So orange and good natured.
(Tue 10th Aug 2010, 16:57, More)

» Insults

from curb
cunt carwash
(Thu 4th Oct 2007, 15:52, More)
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