Profile for ginmakesamanmean:
R.I.P
Recent front page messages:
Best answers to questions:
[read all their answers]
- a member for 20 years, 9 months and 16 days
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- has posted 10 stories and 0 replies on question of the week
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R.I.P
Recent front page messages:
Best answers to questions:
» Have you ever been dumped in a spectacular way?
Christmas
hmm. after nigh on three years of living together my (now) ex went home for christmas as we both used to do. i used this as my opportunity to gwan and buy her a romantic present (the year before i bought her a kitchen knife. a very expensive one mind you. one that she wanted as well) to make up for the previous year's present.
i traipsed all the way to selfridges from hackney and found myself skiting the agent provocateur section (not sure what's more worrying; a man in a ladies underwear shop, or the man walking repeatedly past trying to pluck up the courage...).
eventually i took the plunge, walked in, and found that i'd have to walk all the way to poland st in soho as the selfridges one didn't do gift vouchers (i may be a man, but i'm not so stupid as to actually choose the underwear myself!).
thusly i did walk there.
this time i only loitered outside for two pass by's of the shop front.
i did get the £130 worth of vouchers in the end. not after i'd suffered the torture of the shop girls bearing all the stock gladly from beneath their little pink dresses while i try to look the other way as i'm buying lingerie for the woman i love etc etc.
i get home completely shattered and considerably poorer; but convinced of the joy the little lady would recieve.
the phone rings.
tis her.
she has decided we must split up.
i couldn't really argue with her to be honest. not that i deserved it; just: what the lady wants, the lady gets innit?
i still gave her the underwear. we are still friends.
but will i ever get to see the fruit of my endeavours?
like fuck i will.
kitchen knives from now on it is then....
(Thu 17th Jun 2004, 20:16, More)
Christmas
hmm. after nigh on three years of living together my (now) ex went home for christmas as we both used to do. i used this as my opportunity to gwan and buy her a romantic present (the year before i bought her a kitchen knife. a very expensive one mind you. one that she wanted as well) to make up for the previous year's present.
i traipsed all the way to selfridges from hackney and found myself skiting the agent provocateur section (not sure what's more worrying; a man in a ladies underwear shop, or the man walking repeatedly past trying to pluck up the courage...).
eventually i took the plunge, walked in, and found that i'd have to walk all the way to poland st in soho as the selfridges one didn't do gift vouchers (i may be a man, but i'm not so stupid as to actually choose the underwear myself!).
thusly i did walk there.
this time i only loitered outside for two pass by's of the shop front.
i did get the £130 worth of vouchers in the end. not after i'd suffered the torture of the shop girls bearing all the stock gladly from beneath their little pink dresses while i try to look the other way as i'm buying lingerie for the woman i love etc etc.
i get home completely shattered and considerably poorer; but convinced of the joy the little lady would recieve.
the phone rings.
tis her.
she has decided we must split up.
i couldn't really argue with her to be honest. not that i deserved it; just: what the lady wants, the lady gets innit?
i still gave her the underwear. we are still friends.
but will i ever get to see the fruit of my endeavours?
like fuck i will.
kitchen knives from now on it is then....
(Thu 17th Jun 2004, 20:16, More)
» Have you ever been dumped in a spectacular way?
i 've often dreamt of...
being a girl or a gay and dating a william; just so i could play the smiths "william, it was really nothing" down the phone while laughing maniacally and singing "sooooo, your are dumped. oooh yeah. 100% yeah. oooh"
/sorry
(Thu 17th Jun 2004, 20:24, More)
i 've often dreamt of...
being a girl or a gay and dating a william; just so i could play the smiths "william, it was really nothing" down the phone while laughing maniacally and singing "sooooo, your are dumped. oooh yeah. 100% yeah. oooh"
/sorry
(Thu 17th Jun 2004, 20:24, More)
» Booze Related Disasters
if i'd been sober i'd probably have shat myself...
8 of us once carried a portaloo 3 streets away and left it outside this girl's house with the door open so that when her family opened their front door they would step into the open portaloo. didn't account for her grandad and his shotgun still being awake at 3am though. i've never run or been so scared for my life...
(Fri 19th Mar 2004, 11:17, More)
if i'd been sober i'd probably have shat myself...
8 of us once carried a portaloo 3 streets away and left it outside this girl's house with the door open so that when her family opened their front door they would step into the open portaloo. didn't account for her grandad and his shotgun still being awake at 3am though. i've never run or been so scared for my life...
(Fri 19th Mar 2004, 11:17, More)
» Booze Related Disasters
the fear
once broke up with a girl in a park at 10pm and thus decided i needed a drink. i proceeded to a cosy little place in stoke newington for a nice pint. had one and was confronted by closing time, so i trundled down the road to a late bar where i met a friend and her two female cousins from canada. the four of us raised it up proper until 2amish when the bar closed. this is where it goes downhill. i remember a mexican guy ('tis a latinesque bar) invited me and friends for a spliff outside. next i remember walking down the street hours later in the direction of home with a very jolly african man talking about how we were both "true men of love" but women would never understand.
around 11am that morning i awake feeling cold, hungover and for some reason falling forwards onto my face. it's about this point i realise i'm on the doorstep of my now ex girlfriend and she's opening the door against which my face is pressed. next i remember is waking up again sometime later on her sofa minus my trousers. she's washing them cos there was puke all down one leg (but strangely only from the knee downwards...). she tells me that when she found me on the doorstep i was babbling incomprehensibly about "shopping centre" and "taxi".
after sometime i began to piece it together as best i could. the evidence was that there was approx £30 missing from my wallet, my phone was gone and my camera was trashed. plus the mystery of the taxi and shopping centre.
i reckon i'd walked halfway home and come to the local shopping centre. i was either mugged and put into or just got a cab and blurted out the ex's address drunkenly. i think i was sick in the back of the cab; hence the vomit being only from the knee downwards. cab driver gets pissed off and fleeces me for 3 times the cab's worth (£30) and probably helps himself to my phone. and then dumps outside my ex's (later a neighbour said they saw me lying on the pavement at 9ish). the camera is still a mystery; you'd need a hammer to do the damage done to it!
the best bit is when i went to report my phone 'stolen' to the police with a very elaborate cover story just to get the insurance their computer broke down and it was all done by hand; but the officer forgot to ask my name, address and phone number!
maybe that's a future question: have you ever lied to the police and got away with it? ;P
sorry this was so long!
(Fri 19th Mar 2004, 9:22, More)
the fear
once broke up with a girl in a park at 10pm and thus decided i needed a drink. i proceeded to a cosy little place in stoke newington for a nice pint. had one and was confronted by closing time, so i trundled down the road to a late bar where i met a friend and her two female cousins from canada. the four of us raised it up proper until 2amish when the bar closed. this is where it goes downhill. i remember a mexican guy ('tis a latinesque bar) invited me and friends for a spliff outside. next i remember walking down the street hours later in the direction of home with a very jolly african man talking about how we were both "true men of love" but women would never understand.
around 11am that morning i awake feeling cold, hungover and for some reason falling forwards onto my face. it's about this point i realise i'm on the doorstep of my now ex girlfriend and she's opening the door against which my face is pressed. next i remember is waking up again sometime later on her sofa minus my trousers. she's washing them cos there was puke all down one leg (but strangely only from the knee downwards...). she tells me that when she found me on the doorstep i was babbling incomprehensibly about "shopping centre" and "taxi".
after sometime i began to piece it together as best i could. the evidence was that there was approx £30 missing from my wallet, my phone was gone and my camera was trashed. plus the mystery of the taxi and shopping centre.
i reckon i'd walked halfway home and come to the local shopping centre. i was either mugged and put into or just got a cab and blurted out the ex's address drunkenly. i think i was sick in the back of the cab; hence the vomit being only from the knee downwards. cab driver gets pissed off and fleeces me for 3 times the cab's worth (£30) and probably helps himself to my phone. and then dumps outside my ex's (later a neighbour said they saw me lying on the pavement at 9ish). the camera is still a mystery; you'd need a hammer to do the damage done to it!
the best bit is when i went to report my phone 'stolen' to the police with a very elaborate cover story just to get the insurance their computer broke down and it was all done by hand; but the officer forgot to ask my name, address and phone number!
maybe that's a future question: have you ever lied to the police and got away with it? ;P
sorry this was so long!
(Fri 19th Mar 2004, 9:22, More)