» How I Skive Off Work

Literal Phone Monkey!
I used to work as a phone monkey for ClientLogic, who was the contracted support line for BTopenworld. Shameful I know but what better way to start a career?!?

Anyway, for the first 2 weeks of everyone's employment, official BT training is drilled mindlessly into their heads about BT's (non-)service, what an IP address is and the correct way to insert a CD - followed by similarly easy test at the end. Needless to say I spent the whole time at the back of the room fast asleep and aced the test.
However, slacking (or being extraordinarily late for) a training session, I turned up at the reception trying to sneak into lecture room - keeping out of eyeshot of the Regional Managing Director.
Luckily, he was deeply engrossed in his latest crisis which was being vocally spat into his uber expensive mobile phone. Apparently, the recruitment drive hadn't been the success he was hoping for and the comment "I DON'T CARE IF YOU HAVE TO BUY SOME SHAVED MONKEYS AND PUT THEM INFRONT OF THE PHONES, I NEED THEM NOW!!!" bellowed from his lips.
Later, passed on such comments to other colleagues, who became outraged, flooded the company's intranet forum & generally kicked up a fuss. This all lead to an official denial from the Managing Director involved and warned who ever started this rumour would be punished. (I left not long after).
(Wed 27th Apr 2005, 20:36, More)