b3ta.com user timberwolf0122 is turkey volume guessing man!
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Profile for timberwolf0122 is turkey volume guessing man!:
Profile Info:

I am not a hobby horse, I am simon quinlap the king of the hobby kingdom which is much better than a horse that is rubbish.

I'm a software engineer by day but when night falls I become Turkey Volume Guessing Man! My powers of being able to be able to correctly express in terms of turkeys the volume of any space is sadly with out use giving me a dark side that the ladies find irrisstable.

I can not spell.

Recent front page messages:


Best answers to questions:

» Petty Sabotage

Really petty
I had a shitty job at scumer-fields stacking the dairy fridges. The managers was incredibly anal about product facing and making sure it was all lable front ect. So I sued to stack loads of them upside down and only do the visible ones right! OH ANARCHY!

Additional: My brother once got a really nasty paper cut (quite a bit of blood) and so being the caring older brother I told him that it would need disinfecting and that lemmon juice was the best thing for it. He He He I still remember the screams :-)
(Wed 4th May 2005, 11:42, More)

» Crappy Prizes

Win an amazing Prize!!!
Click Here It really works!
(Thu 11th Aug 2005, 8:59, More)

» Injured Siblings

Well it had all kicked off
I was fighting this big black guy (i'm not that big and a white boy) and had just been knocked through a window. Well I got up and bugger me if he didn't follow me through and continue.. any wayit all ends up with him wheazing away after cutting off my hand only for the bastard to tell me.
"No luke, I am your father".

Got my own back, I killed his boss, kicked his ass and blew up his place of work!!! ahahhaha
(Fri 19th Aug 2005, 12:54, More)

» Misunderstood

I was walking along when
An american tourist asked me for directions to loogabarooga? Turns out he was looking for loughborough, so I rubbed chillie into his cock and went on my way.

sorry... so, so sorry >sits in corner to think about what I just did<
(Fri 7th Oct 2005, 12:25, More)

» Embarrassing Injuries

Stealth pain
I awoke one fresh spring morning, larks were soring through the crystal skys. I sat up, shaking of the half rembered dreams of the night befor to sudenly feel AN INCREADABLE PAIN IN MY TODGER!

upon looking down at my old chap I was shocked to see the helm had swollen and taken on a distincly angry deep purple and was saw!

It took 10 mins of examination to find out that a 14inch hair of my beloved was had wraped its self 19 times round the base of the helm (for those of you playing at home try it with chease wire), so tight was it that I could not find the end and had to use a pair of wire cutters.

Oh an one time I kicked a door frame an shattered my big toe nail and got the fragments caught in my sock, it really hurt when my nan pulled off said sock to have a look.
(Mon 6th Sep 2004, 22:20, More)
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