b3ta.com user stevkay
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» Accidental animal cruelty

Mouse Whore.
A couple o months ao, a very cheeky mouse kept sniffing around my room at my flat. Always waited til I was almost asleep, then would crawl noisily over everything, and ate all my rice. Wee burstard.

Walking back from the pub around this time, i spotted a sweet little black and white moggy. Havin owned cats in the past, and probably not smelling much different that his feline brethren, i got the cat to follow me up to my flat.

I then proceeded to pick it up, and rub it along the skirting boards, and around the flat. The cat was quite amused by this and it may have been more amused than terrified.

After it was getting a bit too freaked out, i took it outside and dumped it on the steps, with a can of sardines as its dirty whorish payment.

At least i didnt make it dress up or spank it.
(Sat 8th Dec 2007, 16:33, More)

» Cheap Tat

Buying in bulk.
My flatmates always buy in bulk. This is not your usual studenty type flat, no, we have hundereds of tins of food that are past their 3 year sell by date, and amusingly lots of packs of "condor brand extra large condoms"(this startled me, as when unravelling one for fun, i realised how insignificant i am. They must work though, condors are almost extinct).

The best thing we have though by far, is a bag of ONE HUNDRED or so of those little plastic "rayguns", where you pull a crappy trigger, something sparks about inside and it goes "VREEEOWM!"

I have no idea what induced them to buy all these... "Rice? Check. Tinned peaches? Check. Bulk pack of cheaply manufactured plastic rayguns? No, we still have the last bag to get through."

(Fri 4th Jan 2008, 12:10, More)

» Best Graffiti Ever

While my band were on tour in Slovenia/ Croatia,
As we were playing squats and communes mainly, there was a lot of damn weird war torn political graffiti. See here-

and probably the most weird:

(Mon 7th May 2007, 15:56, More)

» Clubs, gangs, and societies


(Thu 21st Jun 2012, 13:47, More)

» Public Transport Trauma

Not mine, but my girlfriend's trip to cuba.
On a lovely bus ride to trinidad from havana, not only was the scheduled refreshment stop at a small cantina, where everything was overpriced and the driver took a cut of the extra money any white folk paid, the bus had to stop for an hour in the baking heat because there was a strange whining coming from the undercarriage. Great, thinks the missus, stuck alone on the empty coast of a country i've already been mugged in once, and fleeced twice!

A bit of hunting around underneath the bus, and general headscratching, cigarette smoking and lazing about, the driver decides to turn everyone out, and enjoy a day onthe beach- after all, this strange noise could be a precursor to a horrible accident- and apparently spares or new vehicles are a bitch to come about in Cuba.

Pulls the trunks from the roof, and the ladyfriend gets ready to document her long trek across the coast of cuba, when they open the cargo bay underneath, and they all discover that some country cuban bumpkin was transporting her pig, and a couple of chickens cross country.

A pig. Squealing under the bus. Chickens no doubt egging it on (ha, egging!).

Heh, Communists. Equality for everyone including livestock!

That is all.
(Tue 3rd Jun 2008, 23:46, More)
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