» My Worst Vomit

Another night ruined...
Having consumed several pints of low grade lager and half a gram of even lower grade amphetamine on new years eve many moons ago, I decided a quick visit to the lavvie was what was needed to rid me of the rising nausia.

Unfortunately, as always happens in situations like this, I didn't quite get there quick enough and some poor, finely dressed girl happened to step into the jetstream as I projectiled through my fingers.

According to close friends of hers, such was the ferocity of the unprovoked bile attack that she didn't get a chance to see the perpetrator and is unaware to this day as to whom ruined the party of the year for her. Apparently, she went home and had no less than three showers claiming it felt like she'd been raped. I duly hang my head in shame.

I'm not even going to start on about the time when low grade pills made me crap my pants in the queue to a superclub once.

Listen kids, don't do drugs. They're not big and they're not clever.
(Sat 21st Aug 2004, 16:29, More)

» World's Sickest Joke

How do you know when your sister is having her period?
Your dad's dick tastes funny.
(Sun 26th Feb 2006, 21:39, More)

» World's Sickest Joke

Sickest jokes:
What sits in the corner of the lounge and crackles?

Rod Hull's television.

What does DIANA stand for?

Died In A Nasty Accident.

and that's it... for now...
(Sat 11th Sep 2004, 18:09, More)