» Your Weirdest Teacher

Well... here's a better try.
Again. Another one.

Hopefully funnier. I have less than 50 percent of the required social skills for this site, and a sense of humor that has been surgically removed.

At my latest and current school, we all get to wear, once again, schoolgirl outfits with a rather depressing 2 inches below the knee. No, I won't post pictures. And, on a similar note, we had a teacher, Ms. A, who had a rather mysterious reputation. Someone told us that at various times she was a Mormon, a poledancer, a druggie and/or lived in someone's basement. We didn't care. She was amazing, old and always quite late, so we had a good half hour out of an hour old testament class to discuss whatever we wanted, often said teacher's history, or the mysterious... boy's lockers. *dundundun* There were strict rules against note passing, but we had ways of getting around that, but the one thing that made Ms. A finally snap was a particular school tradition of the ancient and hallowed art of Shoepassing. It was obviously quite simple and not very distracting at all. We passed. Around. A SHOE. Duh.

She threw a chair out of a glass, 2nd story window, very nearly complete with student, and jumped out. Stole my ex's car. And drove off, never to be seen again.


So, if you see a Latin-speaking, wrinkly, psychopathic poledancer- give us a call, she still hasn't replaced the chair.
(Fri 11th Nov 2005, 3:18, More)

» The passive-aggressive guilt trip

share the pain, share the pain...
My parents are both the elite masters of the Guilt Trip. We were at a resteraunt, and during breakfast, I wanted to order a meal that cost ONE DOLLAR less than my mother's, which was 6. I wasn't sure if I should get it, in case it was too expensive due to my mom's cheapskatery, and the dialog went thisaway-
Mom: Oh, it's fine, you can get it... *sigh*
Me: No, it's no problem, I can get something else if you want...
Mom: It's okay, you can get it... *mutters* if you want to spend your entire college fund.
Me: Come on, it's FINE! I can just get- the fried egg!
Mom: BUY IT AND GET IT OVER WITH!
She then starts crying.

I ate my strawberry pancakes in a fine sauce of guilt.
(Sun 16th Oct 2005, 14:49, More)

» Stupid Tourists

The Stupidest Thing ( Suprisingly, from a tourist to another tourist.)
I was in a bookstore about... 30 minutes ago, where there was a pleasant Japanese woman dashing after a little boy who was squealing and playing the international game of 'Let's Run Like Hell' One of the shopkeepers eventually had to aid in catching the little kid and despite the fact that the whole time she was speaking perfect English (Mixed with a few Japanese 4-letter words), one of the passersby HAD to say ' Oh! So you don't speak English then, I bet?'

Canadian, I hope.
(Thu 7th Jul 2005, 18:16, More)

» Embarrassing Injuries

Simple equation
Stapler- meet lips. Lips + stapler = OUCH DEAR JESUS AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUGH and lots of blood. Nuff said.
(Tue 7th Sep 2004, 23:46, More)

» World's Most Hated Food

Trots.
I, as a present from meh man, got plane tickets for 2 to go to New Orleans for Mardi Drinkingpartygras. We had lots of fun, but we both enjoyed the gumbo. I went to a resteraunt one fateful night and decided to get the gumbo. The stuff was SHITE! I mean, it wasn't properly spicy or even fishy, it tasted like wee when you drink way too much water and it's a real pale color. We escaped that one, but then went to a cafe where they served Beignets. They are little crispy buggers that are fried and served with so much powdered sugar that if you eat one you look suspiciously like a crack addict. There were pigeons all around, and one of them swooped down and started attacking my bready sweet. It (As a foul winged denizen of Stan ;) ) decided to puke on the damn thing. Me, astoundingly hung over after drinking my way across Burbon street, decided to eat it. That was the worst case of the trots ever.
(Mon 12th Jul 2004, 22:38, More)