» My Wanking Disasters

Not so much of a wanking disaster...
..but one concerning sex,, and parents (a leathal mix)

mate of mine from senior school (hope he doesnt read this) once found a suitcase underneath his parents bed (dont ask me what he was doing under there!) And, what did he find in the case? I hear you all shout. Well, none other than a plethora of sex toys (dildos etc), bondage gear(well.. furry handcuffs etc) and some dodgy looking video tapes.

My friend then thought to himself "Fantastic! I've stumbled accross my dad's pr0n collection." Being at a not-so-innocent age and being ever so curious he decided to watch the tapes. Oh how he wishes he never had watched those tapes.

Lets just say he had infact stumbled accross some old family videos...

He apparently used to complian about the noise his parents made too ...very thin walls in the houses round where i live :S.

*winces* :'(
(Tue 1st Jun 2004, 23:43, More)

» Where is the strangest place you have slept?

The New Forest ...in winter
Me and me mates thought it was a good idea* to go camping in the New Forest in the middle of winter.

*May be a bad idea

All went well, we had a campfire, guitar and alcohol... Infact some of us had rather too much alcohol (there's always one), more specifically, me. I think by the end of the night, I polished off an entire bottle of baileys, a few beers and some absynth mmmm.

Normally, I'd be dead to the world after this amount of happy juice but it was that damn cold that I still felt kinda sober...

Anyway, everyone crept off to bed and I snuggled into my sleeping bag which felt rather warm at the time.

Skip forward to sunrise and things are a little different... A mist had enveloped the site we had chosen to pitch our tents on, a frost had formed on those little lumps of grass you get in the New Forest, it was bitterly cold and i had no feeling in my toes, my head was spinning and I could see a nasty hangover on the horizon, but this wasn't out-of-the-ordinary, the weird thing was the ponies SURROUNDING OUR TENTS...

As you can imagine, a large group of ponies (20 or so) investigating our tents kinda freaked me out at the time.

Didn't really have much time to think about it though cos I had to make a quick trip to the woods and I didn't really care what stood in my way...

After much chundering and finding new uses for leaves the ponies had left us for more interesting things like the frozen lake...

Anyway kids I learnt that night that alcohol doesn't warm you up, infact it makes you colder... especially in the morning! And, I also learnt that ponies are strange, fickle beasts...


I don't appologise for anything, I am perfect in every respect*

*may be complete tosh
(Sat 30th Dec 2006, 20:20, More)

» Accidentally Erotic

this
reading what gets b3tan people moist tends to have a stimulating effect on myself...
(Mon 6th Feb 2006, 20:15, More)

» My Wanking Disasters

hehe this is about a guy i knew from school who went on a d of e trip...
To cut a long story short he happanned to share a tent with a pretty horny guy and the next morning he had trouble opening his eyes :P. Hearsay is that the other guy spooged in his face and glued his eyelids shut :S.

We kinda abused this guy :P we once cling filmed him to a chair and left him in the head of 6th forms office ...the perfect crime.
(Thu 3rd Jun 2004, 12:02, More)

» Look! It's me in the Local Paper

i should have been in the local paper...
Got really good GCSEs (6A*s 3As 2Bs woo) anyway, came 3rd in my school (i got beaten by a girl to 2nd by half a point).

That alone pissed me off (the other one took extra GCSEs).

Well, it turned out to be a good year for my school it seems and the local paper came round for photos etc. They took one of the top 5 girls, one of the top 5 boys and one with both. Guess which one made it into the paper...

And they spelt my name wrong, cnuts.
(Mon 14th Feb 2005, 20:04, More)