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Recent front page messages:

:D


:)
(Sat 25th Dec 2004, 4:19, More)

hello


holy crap. fp!
:D

(Mon 8th Nov 2004, 1:58, More)

Best answers to questions:

» Little things that turn you on

name at least 9
of samwise gamgee's 13 children from memory and I'm yours forever.

Or the evening. your call, really.
(Thu 17th Feb 2005, 22:33, More)

» World's Sickest Joke


A bartender decides things are going a bit too slow for his place, and the thing he needs to liven things up is live music. He takes out an advert, and immediately gets a response. The bartender schedules an audition, the pianist shows up, sits down at the piano, and plays the most beautiful music the bartender has ever heard.

"That was absolutely amazing!" says the bartender. "What's it called?"

"The Visceral Remains of your Dog Splattered Across Your Sister's Labia," the pianist proudly replies.

"Oh jesus, that's fucking disgusting! Look, you can have the job, just dont tell anyone what your songs are called, alright?"

The pianist agrees, and that weekend is his first performance. After playing a few pieces, the pianist takes a break to use the bathroom. When he comes back a man in the audience stands up and shouts "Hey! You know your fly's open and everyone in the room just got a nasty view of your sweaty nutsack?"

The pianist replies, "Know it? I WROTE it!"
(Sat 11th Sep 2004, 0:28, More)

» Weird Traditions

high school drama club.
Once upon a time, when it was but my first year in the drama club, a talented, prominent, and slightly insane upperclassmen made a photocopy of his penis and hung it on the ceiling just inside the main curtain. At the end of every play it became tradition, after curtain call, for everyone to simultaneously step backward and salute the cock. Even after the building was refurbished and the cock removed.
(Fri 29th Jul 2005, 13:17, More)

» Pure Ignorance

uncle and aunt - christmas time, two years ago.
"Man, that new Lord of the Rings movie was awesome! And I tell you something, there's going to be a third."

"Of course there is, numbnuts, there's three books."

"...what books."

My uncle, sadly, was completely serious.
(Sat 8th Jan 2005, 1:01, More)

» Black Sheep

My grandmother sent dead roses to her brother in law's funeral.
Class, eh? Something about her sister abandoning their father in the worst old age home imaginable and then snaking the inheritance, I believe. No one talks about it much, as it makes gran quite angry.
(Sat 15th Jan 2005, 4:48, More)
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