b3ta.com user iwannabeabonobo has been buying lots of gadgets this weekend
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Profile for iwannabeabonobo has been buying lots of gadgets this weekend:
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I live in York (and Liverpool, but that's a long story). I'm 36 (though look far younger*), and I'm a self-employed Training Consultant. My email, in case anyone wants me for some random reason is jasew AT freenet DOT co DOT uk

In case you don't know what a bonobo is, this is a bonobo....

Why do I wanna be one? Well, if I told you there were the most highly sexed of all animals, and only break from shagging for a spot of oral and a quick fwap, I think you'd understand.

What a life eh?? Bastards!

This is me by the way. A very well rounded individual...


-- Personality Disorder Test - Take It! --

And as if I didn't know already:

Which ABBA member are you ?

This pointless quiz was made by TMO

And finally...

I am Plague. Got Me?
Which Horrible Affliction are you?
A Rum and Monkey disease.

*May not be true

Recent front page messages:


Best answers to questions:

» Childhood bad taste

Another music one I'm afraid
The first single that I bought was (and still is) highly credible - Purple Haze by Hendrix (from a charity shop no less). Unfortunately, my cred was somewhat destroyed by my next 2 purchases.

"You're The One That I Want" - not the ONJ/Travolta version....the Arthur Mullard & Hilda Baker one

closely followed by

"The Day We Went To Bangor" by Fiddler's Dram

Just thinking about this makes me sad. I am going to kill myself now.
(Tue 14th Dec 2004, 14:34, More)

» Shoddy Presents

I had an Aunt who was fucking loaded. Every year she invited herself to the family Xmas, brought a bottle of the cheapest wine known to man, and showered us with 'presents'.

For 5 years running I got a packet of playing cards. Now, being a youngster at the time, maybe different types of cards from all around the world, covered in different designs might have been nice. But no! These were bog standard, bought from a newsagent cheap shit ones!

Still, it could have been worse. My female cousins each kept getting a cheap plastic alice band (at least 30p worth) - and they had short hair!

A while later, she stopped coming to Xmas as she emigrated. So, she sold her mews house in St. Johns Wood (just around the corner from Abbey Road) and her Oxford Street offices for an obscene amount of money. Guess what we got as present before she left....cunt!
(Thu 23rd Sep 2004, 13:20, More)

» Job Interviews

I did a big recruitment drive for a Call centre I used to work in
We were looking to take on around 100 people, so had to interview about 350 or so. The format went something like this:

Interview in pairs, ask them to fill in a medical questionnaire while the interviewers left the room (to discuss), come back and make an offer or thank them for their time.

Now interviewing that many people we were bound to hit the dregs...the type who will go to interviews, deliberately fuck it up, and carry on claimimg the dole.

Anyway, we interviewed this guy, and we knew it would be bad when we started with the line "this is jus tan informal interview", and he answered "if I'd have known that, I'd have come in my jeans".

The most memorable line he gave us was "I can't really see myself answering the phones....I'd just wander round the office and soak up the pressure"!

Well, I'm sure he knew he didn't get the job, when we left the room and burst into fits of laughter.
(Fri 21st Jan 2005, 11:15, More)

» Pure Ignorance

Not exactly overheard but...
...I worked on a cruise ship for 2 years and got asked by passengers

- does this lift go to the front of the ship?
- do all the staff live on the boat?

and my personal fave

- I didn't have enough time to do all the shopping I wanted. Any chance we could turn around and go back there for half an hour? (in all seriousness, having been at sea for over an hour after leaving dock).

Some people are total fuckwits
(Fri 7th Jan 2005, 13:36, More)

» Obscure Memorabilia

I've got...
...quite a bit of crap! So here goes...

- A stool that puppeteers working on the Labrynth sat on - and fuck me they must have bad backs 'cos it's tiny

- The metal pressing disc from Lena Lovich's 'Flex' album...and no, I haven't heard it either

- Rufus Brevett's worn match shirt from when he was at QPR...and it stinks to high heaven. Thank fuck it's in a frame!

I also collect signed film pics. Got about 90 or so now. Far too many. Anyone wanna make me an offer on any of em?
(Thu 4th Nov 2004, 10:17, More)
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