» My computer gave away my secrets

Cheating Girlfriend
*First post ever! woo*

Once caught an ex of mine (about 4 years ago) out big time whilst trying to figure out why her IM programs were constantly crashing (never did work it out), i "stumbled" accross various conversations, recieved files etc as well as her own little collection of pics of her that she sent to people. Basically she was a whore!

Needless to say i took a copy of all offending material and then confronted her. Nice big messy break up, but since then i just cant seem to stop worrying what a g/f is doing on their/my comp. Mind you, i suppose knowing all their passwords and having a keylogger on mine helps :p

Oh, and still love the fact that she has yet to notice (years later) that I have remote access to her comp!

On another note, never EVER, look through your younger siblings histories and chat logs unless you want to be emotionally scarred! *shudders*

/Appologies for length and crappness but i thought it would go away when i closed the browser
(Fri 10th Feb 2006, 12:48, More)

» Have you ever seen a dead body?

If your looking for funny, move along...
Just have to say, although my a-typical lurker status probably discounts my opinion, this QOTY is seriously lacking in chances at amusing story / anecdote / made up bullshit.

That said...I used to work in the Army (Regt etc etc unimportant) and was in Iraq approx 1 week before the start of the conflict a few years back, for about 11 months. Being attached to a medical supply unit (making sure the hospitals had blood, plasma and the like) I saw my fair share (and them some) of bodies / parts / random pools of unidentifiable claret. Suffice to say you cant see that kind of thing for months on end without:-

a) developing a sort of immunity to it, no matter how squeamish you were before and..
b) starting to really appreciate the good things you have when compared to these guys who are now dead/maimed/badly hurt mostly for reasons we dont totally understand or believe told to us by our respective governments.

There is no specific story im going to tell here so appologies to the gore seekers amongst you, just kind of wanted to say my piece and have done with it.

Oh, and one last note...when meeting someone / finding out someone was in forces / Iraq / Kuwait / etc etc...be aware that, for the most part, nothing says "im a cunt" like opening your conversation with "so, did you kill anyone / see any dead people".

Anyway, post over, heres hoping to a better subject next week when i can attempt to redeem myself with stories of hillarity and mirth to rival that of the infamous Legless himself :)

Ill be back.
(Thu 28th Feb 2008, 13:23, More)

» I met a weirdo on the interweb

1st of Many
I have met my fair share of people from the t'interweb and yes, as other b3tans have said, some are ok. There is, however, a large number of absolute freaks, liars, retards and psychos out there. This is the story of just one that i met.

Chatting randomly (cant even remember how it started) to some girl from Liverpool. She seemed a nice person and, whilst never going to win Miss Universe, was a far cry from ugly. So time passes and we start talking about meeting up. Credit to her, when the subject came up she did confess that she was a single mother of 2.

No worries, thought I, and then things started going wrong! About a week before the arranged meet, she texts me to say she needs to talk. I give her a call and she has decided to come clean and tell me the truth. Its more like 3 sprogs, not 2. A little miffed that she lied but still having some respect for her telling the truth, i think nothing of it and the meet is still arranged.

So im driving up there some time later and i get another text. Being the nice careful driver i am, i read it doing 90 up the M5. Turns out she has figured that ill soon realise its not 3 at all when i get there and tells me "honestly" that its 4, But no more!

Short pitstop at the services later and deep thought brings me to the decision that at least she is a go-er (i know, morals are high on this one eh?) and i continue my journey.

So we meet in a pub, have a couple of drinks and she suggests retiring back to hers. But what about her kids, i ask. Not to worry, babysitter to the rescue apparently. So off we go back to hers and things heat up a little.

Fortunately for me, the babysitter chooses this time (both of us hardly dressed but not quite got down to the dirty yet) to return said kids. ALL 6 OF THEM!

I kid you not, the girl was late 20s and had 6 kids!

About to stand up and walk out, i remember the drinks partaken of earlier and realise there is no way i can drive back down home (army camp!) reeking of booze. Not worth the risk. So i have no choice but to stay the night and think of Maggie Thatcher and blame the alcohol for the lack of performance on the old chap. Hey, with her track record, would you have slept with her?

Left in the morning and never contacted again. Lucky escape methinks.

\sorry for legnth, I do like my politicians!
(Tue 21st Mar 2006, 16:56, More)

» Have you ever seen a dead body?

OOC...
...anyone else having a moral issues about clicking "i like this" to a story about finding/seeing/making dead people?
(Thu 28th Feb 2008, 13:40, More)