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Why do Daleks need to fly?, EVERYWHERE has disabled access!
(Sat 4th Jun 2005, 14:40, More)

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» When I met the parents

Projectile Orange Juice
After meeting my current g/f (stunning I might add) in France a year ago, we decided to head to the beach for what inevitably followed.

Nine months later we managed to get back in touch and decided that we should meet up again. With me having a car, she suggested I'd stay around her house for the night so off i went on the 40min trip.

Once there I was treated to a full BBQ by her parents who I got along with instantly. As we sat down to eat I discussed my plans for uni next year. Without even a look of concern they told me how my g/f was predicted all A* for GCSE's next year.

"15!!!!!!". You have never seen Orange Juice come out someones nose so quickly. Fuck me if I ever remembered to ask a girl that stunning her age.

Well we are still together because guess what.... we love each other...and shes fit... and her parents dont mind. So there

I make no apologies for lenght or moral objections.
(Fri 20th May 2005, 19:29, More)

» I met a weirdo on the interweb

Graphics Card's
One of my real life friends introduced me to a guy on MSN who apparently worked in the one stop down the road from me.

Fair enough, I never go in there anyway after they accused me of pushing a trolly into someones car. They threated legal action before even looking at the CCTV tapes.

Anyway, he is a MASSIVE Nvidia / playstation fanboy. I mean to the point he starts arguements about them even if we were talking about something totally different. One day I decided to pop into the one stop and get a PC magazine. Cue this kid going on about graphics cards for 15 mins without having a clue who I was. I totally avoid that place now.

On another note, the guys in my Day of Defeat clan I have known for over 5 years now. We play every week and they live 30 mins away.

Never met em
(Mon 20th Mar 2006, 16:46, More)

» Mistaken Identity

Pete Doherty and Me
I don't see it, my mates don't see it but after two years I STILL have random strangers comming up to me and saying I look like everyones favorite crack addict.

It's me on the left for the stupid in here.
(Thu 31st May 2007, 23:53, More)

» Misunderstood

New York McDonalds
Every bloody time I go in one they fuck up my order.

"Sorry sir I can't understand you"
"A Big Mac!"
"In English Please"
"Im as fucking English as they get!"

5 mins later
"Here is your McChicken Sandwich"

ARRRGGGGG, and its the same in just about every other shop.
(Fri 7th Oct 2005, 0:29, More)

» Going Too Far

Get that fucking thing out of my living room!
About a year ago, after a typical student night of smoking a giant 6 man Hookah and generally getting pretty mashed we decided a walk was in order. 3 hours later we spot a giant diversion sign located on a nearby road. Being nearly 15 foot tall and about the same wide, it took several people to carry it home. It's one of the biggest tropheys I've seen in a while.

We took it too far the next day by going back and nicking the stand. The workmen were less than 15 meters away looking for the sign in a bush.
(Fri 10th Nov 2006, 16:56, More)
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