Profile for Bringing Sarcasm To The Masses (Valis):
Apathy, Lethargy & Stupidity!
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Apathy, Lethargy & Stupidity!
Recent front page messages:
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Best answers to questions:
» Inventions You're Too Lazy To Make
Stairlift/portaloo hybrid
If you fitted a portaloo to a stairlift then you could take a dump whilst gliding slowly upstairs , a real boon to the elderly/incontinent. Extra features could involve fitting soft brushes etc the length of the stairs enabling you to wipe as you glide gently back down.
(Thu 8th Apr 2004, 10:49, More)
Stairlift/portaloo hybrid
If you fitted a portaloo to a stairlift then you could take a dump whilst gliding slowly upstairs , a real boon to the elderly/incontinent. Extra features could involve fitting soft brushes etc the length of the stairs enabling you to wipe as you glide gently back down.
(Thu 8th Apr 2004, 10:49, More)
» School fights
Boris Karloff
One of the lads I went to school with whilst being usually very quiet and docile was at aged 15 around 6'7" and built like a brick shithouse, combine with the fact he had a reather large and square shaped head led to him being nicknamed Frank (as in 'enstien'). Anyway one day I'd been winding him up as usual when he suddenly snapped and proceded to lift me up by the neck and drop me from a great height several times. Whether it qualifies as a fight or not seeing as my efforts were restricted to blindly flailing and trying to hit him while being held out of reach of any part of him but his arm I don't know, but we were both reporteds to the head and had to stand outside his office scowlling at eachotherr for hours. Mind you it did beat double maths lol.
(Fri 10th Mar 2006, 14:28, More)
Boris Karloff
One of the lads I went to school with whilst being usually very quiet and docile was at aged 15 around 6'7" and built like a brick shithouse, combine with the fact he had a reather large and square shaped head led to him being nicknamed Frank (as in 'enstien'). Anyway one day I'd been winding him up as usual when he suddenly snapped and proceded to lift me up by the neck and drop me from a great height several times. Whether it qualifies as a fight or not seeing as my efforts were restricted to blindly flailing and trying to hit him while being held out of reach of any part of him but his arm I don't know, but we were both reporteds to the head and had to stand outside his office scowlling at eachotherr for hours. Mind you it did beat double maths lol.
(Fri 10th Mar 2006, 14:28, More)
» Guilty Pleasures
Bubblicious
Farting In The Bath And Watching The Bubbles Rising To The Top To Release The Smell Always Brings A Smile To My Face.
(Thu 7th Apr 2005, 14:05, More)
Bubblicious
Farting In The Bath And Watching The Bubbles Rising To The Top To Release The Smell Always Brings A Smile To My Face.
(Thu 7th Apr 2005, 14:05, More)
» Useless Information
Glass not liquid shocker
It's a commonly held misconception that glass is a very viscous liquid that flows over time. This arose because the glass in medival cathedrals was noted to be thicker at the bottom than the top. However as the glassmaking techniques used at the time resulted in uneven thickness's and the glaziers sensibly orientated the panes so that the thinner areas where at the top of the window rather than the bottom.
(Thu 17th Mar 2005, 18:28, More)
Glass not liquid shocker
It's a commonly held misconception that glass is a very viscous liquid that flows over time. This arose because the glass in medival cathedrals was noted to be thicker at the bottom than the top. However as the glassmaking techniques used at the time resulted in uneven thickness's and the glaziers sensibly orientated the panes so that the thinner areas where at the top of the window rather than the bottom.
(Thu 17th Mar 2005, 18:28, More)
» Singing the wrong words
That Reminds Me
Postman Pat, Postman Pat
Postman Pat Is A Drunken Old Twat
Early In The Morning
He's Multi-Coloured Yawning
And He's Gone And Nearly Shit His Pants
(Fri 28th Jan 2005, 14:41, More)
That Reminds Me
Postman Pat, Postman Pat
Postman Pat Is A Drunken Old Twat
Early In The Morning
He's Multi-Coloured Yawning
And He's Gone And Nearly Shit His Pants
(Fri 28th Jan 2005, 14:41, More)