b3ta.com user SolidGoldChimp
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Profile for SolidGoldChimp:
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Carbonated water, Sugar (Carbonhydrated),
Colour (caramel E 150d), Phosphoric Acid,
Flavourings, Caffeine.

Recent front page messages:

(Tue 15th Aug 2006, 15:08, More)

cheers for the FP
(Sun 4th Dec 2005, 16:03, More)

Best answers to questions:

» Best Graffiti Ever

I am 9" Long and 2" Thick

(To which is replied)

Are You A Ferret?
(Thu 3rd May 2007, 21:02, More)

» When were you last really scared?

I have been scared more recently, but this...
This happened when i was just a lad of about 11, on a perfectly normal night, in the bathroom brushing my teeth.
Job done i thought now to rinse my mouth, the Plastic tumbler that i normally fill with water, aint there.
so i just rap my lips around the cold water tap and turn it on.
Instantly i freak out and start spitting the water back into the sink.

Why? I hear you ask.

A great big bloody spider was hiding inside the tap and was then forced into my mouth by the rushing water. Oh god memories of it squirming around in my mouth and then running around like a freak after i spit it out...

still haunt me to this day.
(Fri 23rd Feb 2007, 1:10, More)

» Going Too Far

Cant use real names for legal reasons...
About this time last, my mate(who we shall call bob) was being made redundent after the electricians he worked for was going bunkrupt, not only that but he was'nt going to recieve any pay.
well bob gives me a phone and says he wants a hand, he and some of his work mates are going back to work to steal as much stuff as they can!
Bob and i turn up to find guys walking off with piles of copper wire and other various stuff they can sell.
Bob fills the back of his van with wire and tools, says to me he'll be back in a minute, just a short while later he turns up with the office computer, a stunned me "christ, thats taking it a bit far dont ya think?"
He stuffs the computer into the back of his vans and yells "We'd better get the fuck out of here"
just at this the office starts bellowing smoke and flames, i just look at him shocked, as he jumps into the drivers seat he says "that'll teach the fuckers to not pay me".

It made the news and everything, but we must never speak of it again.
(Fri 10th Nov 2006, 16:23, More)

» Guilty Pleasures, part 2

Telling Lies
I work in the local history library, and once with ten minutes left until my lunch, I told a client that their grandparent was the result of a union between a pirate and a prostitute and they believed me. I never corrected them. I feel guilty, but should I, he was cutting into my lunch hour.
(Thu 13th Mar 2008, 21:56, More)

» Weddings

A couple of years back
at my cousins wedding, after the service we were heading into the reception, the entire wedding party lined up to greet the guests, i shook hands with my cousin and his best man gave his new wife a kiss and one of the bride maids as well, but the other brides maid was a frickin beast, so i shook her hand, she left early and i was told she was crying all night... im great
(Mon 18th Jul 2005, 22:03, More)
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