b3ta.com user Kong
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I don't know how I found this place, but I'm not sure I can ever leave.

Sadly I have no photo-trickery skills of any sort, so all you will ever get from me is massive enthusiasm. But in this cynical world, isn't that enough?

Try www.lordmogroth.co.uk tis my mate's site = truly ace

Recent front page messages:


Best answers to questions:

» World's Sickest Joke

What's blue and fucks grannies?
Me in my lucky blue coat.
(Fri 10th Sep 2004, 13:29, More)

» My Worst Vomit

Phantom Chunder
Millenium news years eve in Cardiff. As you can imagine the booze was flowing like the river Taff and everybody, including my then girlfriend (Who was unbelievably refined and well mannered) was properly leathered. After the traditional shenanigans we made our way back to her parent's place, where I vaguely remember passing out in her room.

I woke up the next morning not just with a mouth like Ghandi's sandal, which I was expecting, but completely naked and alone in a bare bed, which I wasn't.

My clothes were nowhere to be found so I robbed up one of her dresses and went looking for my bird's little sister. She refused to tell me what was going on but handed me a note written in the flowery hand of my missus. The exact wording was;

"Forgot you were there. Was sick all over you. Stripped you down. Washed you and sheets. Was sick on you again. Cried. Left. Am now in Brighton, ashamed. Sorry."

I had to wait another 2 hours for my clothes to be dry, sat in the kitchen with her family in a fairly see-through dress. Nice.
(Tue 24th Aug 2004, 13:39, More)

» It's not me, it's the drugs talking

Space Port
Once when I was tripping in Cardiff we decided to go for a bit of a wander and buy some lemonade. The only place open at stupid o'clock was Mario's kebab house, and whilst in there I became utterly convinced that we were infact in a spaceport, and when it came time to leave, I was completely unable to , as I knew that when outside I wouldn't be able to breathe.

I spent a considerable amount of time wailing that we needed to wait for our 'space-transports', or at the very least, find some sort of helmets. I was 100% convinced...
(Fri 16th Dec 2005, 15:46, More)

» World's Sickest Joke

My Dad's favourite joke;
Why is a woman like a tornado?
'Cos when they come they're wet and warm, and when they leave they take your house, car and kids.

Bitter old bastard.


What is the worst thing you can say to a woman?
"Don't let this rape turn into a murder".
(Fri 10th Sep 2004, 12:08, More)

» Best Comebacks

My mate Camp Freddy
can be a ruthless sod. I was having trouble with my German house mate who kept turning the boiler off and locking her door when she went away, leaving the rest of us cold and dirty.

I was whingeing about this and Freddy mentioned that its unlike the Germans to turn off the gas appliances...
(Fri 30th Apr 2004, 13:32, More)
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