b3ta.com user afkun
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Been subscribed to b3ta for as long as I can remember, failed miserably at creating a name for the posts before long. Eh...

"Who says 'fiddlesticks' anymore? I'd much rather say 'fetusmonkey.'"

(July 2010 I met a fellow b3tard in person - he's from Snaggle Rock and came to visit Them States. The wedding will be July 2011. Thank you so much, b3ta)

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Best answers to questions:

» Beautiful Moments, Part Two

A b3tard love story!
I met a b3tard from across the pond a couple months ago. We met through b3ta when he messaged me 4 years ago after a post about a creepy guy who used to stalk me. The b3tard came to the US to visit friends, but we've gone mad for each other.

About 30 minutes into meeting in person, he made fun of my little sister, and we were smitten.

You're all invited to our UK wedding, wherein we'll have a crudely drawn magenta cock wedding cake in b3ta honor.

Ginger Fuhrer, would you care to get ordained and preside over the ceremony?
(Sun 8th Aug 2010, 0:22, More)

» Have you ever seen a dead body?

A couple years back..
A friend of mine and I went to a small party for someone. We live in a very forested area, and on the way we crossed a small bridge.

A cop car comes to a stop in front of us with his lights flashing, and we see blood splattered all over the road and the guard rail. There was a large lump of something in the middle of the road, also covered in blood.

"A deer. That's weird, on a bridge."

And in unison we came to the fantastic realization that "... Deer don't wear pants.."
(Fri 29th Feb 2008, 16:24, More)

» Beautiful but Bonkers

We didn't date, but I don't know if he realized this.
This was back in high school. One Saturday evening at the mall, my best friend and I ran into a boy in our grade, his older brother ("Boy"), and their mother (my 7th grade science teacher).

Boy had a pretty face, he was very nice, unbiased, and a very caring person. I'll give him that.

-Asked me out a few days later, which I told him "Er.. uh.. I'll think about it." ("No.") I later told him we should just be friends as he didn't even know my last name.
(Cue 3 years of avoiding him in the hallways at school)
-I (mistakenly) gave the boy my AIM screen name, so I've been screening my IMs ever since.
-Boy obtained my phone number, which meant calling me oh just a tad too often, but it didn't matter because I more often ignored his calls (I'm a bit of a bitch I suppose).
-One day during high school in a history class, a mutual friend had purchased a lovely voice recorder, and recorded Boy describing ways he'd like to violate me.

Boy was also very very into cults. Not studying them, but joining them and trying to find acceptance. Eventually his brother and our mutual friend were planning a lovely intervention for him.

One day, Boy called me while I was on a lunch break at work. I decided that having avoided Boy successfully for about 6mo, it was time I made it not so awkward when we would run into each other at the mall again, so I answered. He proceeded to try convincing me that he had talked to a girl online, and he later talked to her on the phone (she was 14 and he was.. 19? He was very interested having a relationship with her even though she lived in NJ and we're on OH). She claimed her parents abused her, and once while calling her, the girl's mother answered. Boy decided to talk to the mother about her abusive problems (?!), and Mother went on to inform Boy that she worked for a credit card company or some other large corp and had the FBI on their way to his house to have him arrested for his "on-line sexual assault" on her daughter.

He told me he was terrified, would be tried and jailed, and everything in his life would be ruined after being labeled a sexual predator. So he was going to kill himself. For the next 15 minutes he tried to tell me he was going to do it, and that he wanted to hear me "say 'I love you' before I go." That didn't happen. Eventually I got him off the phone, and decided he was joking.

... Until the mutual friend (intervention and recordings, that guy) said he had received a call from Boy with the same story, and called 911 on him, had Boy committed to the psych ward.

Since his release, the only time we talked was online. Twice. He told me that the people of a town north of here are demonic and possessed, and to avoid the town with all strides. Unfortunately, his school was just beyond the town...

After that was months alter, where I hadn't seen him nor talked to him on the phone. I was sitting in my room and had noticed earlier in the day that I was cathign the sniffles. An IM then popped up on my screen from him, reading, "Hope you get well soon." Creeeeeeeeeeepy.

Was this too long? All appologies.
(Mon 20th Nov 2006, 19:57, More)

» My Collection

Nothing too exciting..
When I was little I would save my eyelashes if they were to fall out. It made me so sad to lose them - I didn't think they'd return! I also had an array of varrying sized Big Bird stuffed animals... and more unicorns than you can imagine. And geo-stones. Boxes upon boxes upon boxes.

My sister? My sister is the winner. She saved her clipped toenails for years. YEARS. At one point she began collecting them into a baby-food jar. My mother, not noticing the toenails, poured some olive oil into the jar for storage. The day of realization was horrible.
(Sat 13th Jan 2007, 0:59, More)

» Happy 10th Birthday B3ta

Married the man from b3ta!
Years ago, I posted on a QOTW about a very creepy guy that I never dated, but I don't think he knew this. One person messaged me about it to tell me that Creepy Guy did, indeed, sound creepy; 4 years and an Atlantic ocean later (I'm from the US but moved to the UK for him), I'm married to that b3tard. Thank you, b3ta, for kittens, curse word sound boards, and the love of my life.
(Mon 19th Sep 2011, 23:09, More)
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