b3ta.com user The real vlad the impala
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» Guilty Pleasures

Junk (snail) mail
I derive an enormous amount of satisfaction from extracting all the advertising crap (the stuff without name/address on), mixing them up and using the freepost envelopes.

Mint get Egg, Egg get Capital 1, you get the drift.

Wifey thinks I'm insane, and won't post them for me....
(Thu 7th Apr 2005, 11:13, More)

» Evidence that you're getting old

Look on the positive side
Stop moaning !!! I turned 50 this year (now THAT is old compared to some of you young shavers - ha ! 28) but these are the upsides of getting old:

I no-longer know, or care, who is #1 in the charts (actually, I never did).
Mortgage is as nothing now (ends anyway in 4, yes 4, yrs).
Kids old enough to f*** off and make their own mistakes (and who knows, the family may grow and the joy that it might bring).
I don't care what anyone thinks about me anymore (so keep your sarcastic comments to yourselves guys).
I smoke, enjoy it, and I don't give a s**t what the fascists think.
Almost everything has improved - hundreds of tv channels, p.c.s, dvds, the whole entertainment industry in fact (I don't like hip-hop/britney/busted and all that cr*p, but defend to the death your right to listen to that sort of sh*te).
I can wallow in nostalgia - IF I want to (sometimes I do, sometimes I don't).
Married for 26 years and I still love her (and she me - I think).
I can play poker or UT2004 online.
I can browse b3ta and enjoy the humour and the chat (last week's comp on adding words to film titles was brilliant).
I can use as many brackets as I like, and I don't care about that either.

That's the evidence for me that I'm getting old - freedom

To quote Peter Hammill (who ??) "I'll never find a better time, to be alive than now"

p.s. - There are some who know me who would say "Wha ???" to me being positive ! hahahahaha
p.p.s. And I still don't do gardening, whatever that is
(Tue 2nd Nov 2004, 10:16, More)

» I hurt my rude bits

Not nice this - sry
Bleeding from rear end - went to docs (this was between christmas and new year).
"Assume the position" he says.
After what I thought was quite enough of a good look he says "I have some good news and some bad news"
"The good news is, you haven't got piles" (pause for effect) "the bad news is, I have to look further in"
Somewhat uncomfortable that bit, wish I'd gone to a lady doctor (smaller hands.....)
On parting (yes I've spelt that right), I wished him Happy New Year, he had the grace to laugh.
(Fri 14th Jul 2006, 10:15, More)

» Toilets

Lewes - East Sussex
So there I was, long LONG drive down from 't North and needed a dump before meeting the client.

Found a public bog near railway station.

Couple of furtive characters, dive into cubicle, lock door, turn around to see.....

about 12 porn pictures stuck to the walls.

Suffice to say, didn't take long and didn't linger in there to even wash hands (I did as soon as poss after..)

Never been so nervous in my life.
(Mon 5th Sep 2005, 10:57, More)

» That's when I knew it was over...

You know it's all over
when you hear the words "'Till death do us part" and you think "Awwww Fuck!"
(Fri 22nd Jul 2005, 9:04, More)
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