b3ta.com user davric
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» Cheap Tat

Money loss..
I bought some scarecrows from the 99p shop.
The birds just laughed and shat on them.
(Fri 4th Jan 2008, 19:32, More)

» My Wanking Disasters

ooops!
Iv'e got two horrors involving my mum,
the first was when I was about 20, and I was giving my partner an early morning wake up call in the fudge factory. Luckily the duvet was over us both, as mater walks in, with two trays of breakfast.
I stayed up for a good half an hour, twitching my old man every now and again, as mum waffled on about everything she'd done the day before.
When she eventually left my room, my partner turned round and smacked my nose flat.

This is worse.

Out until 6am, pissed, bottle of poppers, hand where it's not supposed to go, porn video on, turn round... mother in dressing gown, slippers and turban(?) quote "will you keep the noise down, we've got neighbours"
(Thu 3rd Jun 2004, 2:24, More)

» Losing Your Virginity

It was a good earner..
A middle aged man did one up my botty when I was 14.
And gave me £20 !!!

So there you go.. easy money for only a small amount of physical and psychological pain!
(and £20 in 1982 was very useful)
(Mon 7th Mar 2005, 13:36, More)

» Shame

shame
As a young boy of about 10 or 11 I used to check my parents bedrooms out (my parents had separate rooms).
In my Dads room there was always top notch scandinavian porn, because he was a top notch copper!
Mum had sherry, and tear-stained tissues, because my dad was a copper.
I found my mums non-doctor appliance.
To think I held it in my hand and laughed, it gives me flashbacks.
I now have shame, 30 years later.
But I still giggle about it when i'm pissed!
(Mon 28th Nov 2005, 0:43, More)

» People with Stupid Names

Laugh, we shat.
On my 1st day in further education, the course leader stood in front of about 150 apathetic students and pronounced " hello all I'm Bob Hole".
I also knew a lad called Neil Crouch. Imagine in class.... Neil Crouch, stand up.
(Fri 27th Aug 2004, 23:54, More)
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