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- a member for 20 years, 7 months and 0 days
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- has posted 7 stories and 5 replies on question of the week
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» I'm going to Hell...
Not exactly Hell
While on a jaunt to New Zealand, me and my mate were staying in my kiwi friend's holiday home (they call it a 'bach', although there were no German composers in sight), on the north coast in a lovely place called Whakatane Bay.
Anyway, this place is so isolated basically the only thing to do to pass the time is get hammered on cheap boxes of wine. So we did. Staggering about outside late at night, I realised through my drunken haze I needed a piss. I came across a low fence and thought this a perfect place. So I let it all out and felt much better.
That is until, as I was zipping myself up, I saw a sign a bit further along the fence that said "Wahi Tapu". This means, in Maori, "Sacred site", and these places are protected by law as well as no doubt several portions of witchcraft etc, and no doubt are never ever meant to be micturated upon. So basically I'm now on the run from Maori gods, and hope their jurisdiction doesn't extend to here in Lancashire. Oops.
(Thu 11th Dec 2008, 21:15, More)
Not exactly Hell
While on a jaunt to New Zealand, me and my mate were staying in my kiwi friend's holiday home (they call it a 'bach', although there were no German composers in sight), on the north coast in a lovely place called Whakatane Bay.
Anyway, this place is so isolated basically the only thing to do to pass the time is get hammered on cheap boxes of wine. So we did. Staggering about outside late at night, I realised through my drunken haze I needed a piss. I came across a low fence and thought this a perfect place. So I let it all out and felt much better.
That is until, as I was zipping myself up, I saw a sign a bit further along the fence that said "Wahi Tapu". This means, in Maori, "Sacred site", and these places are protected by law as well as no doubt several portions of witchcraft etc, and no doubt are never ever meant to be micturated upon. So basically I'm now on the run from Maori gods, and hope their jurisdiction doesn't extend to here in Lancashire. Oops.
(Thu 11th Dec 2008, 21:15, More)
» Barred
New Zealand
After being in New Zealand for about a fortnight, the first time me and my mate Gordon got really leathered was in Queenstown on the south island there. Brilliant place, with bars so closely packed you literally do fall out of one and into another.
Anyway, we ended up in a happy hour in the Red Rock Bar that lasted about 3 hours (time is weird there), so we got cained off cheap cheap beer. Now the mistake we made then was to stagger back to the hostel about 8pm and drink the box of wine we had. Then we went out again, ate 4 burgers, and staggered into another bar.
This is where it gets hazy, and I can't actually remember the circumstances of it, but I have a very specific memory, throughout the cloud of drink of several angry looking people at a bar, then the barmaid pointing at the door and shouting "Get out!". I'm sure she must have had a good reason at the time, just wish we could remember what we did!
To be honest don't even remember what bar it was! So I am banned from at least one bar in the southern hemisphere. Just not sure which.
(Thu 31st Aug 2006, 12:14, More)
New Zealand
After being in New Zealand for about a fortnight, the first time me and my mate Gordon got really leathered was in Queenstown on the south island there. Brilliant place, with bars so closely packed you literally do fall out of one and into another.
Anyway, we ended up in a happy hour in the Red Rock Bar that lasted about 3 hours (time is weird there), so we got cained off cheap cheap beer. Now the mistake we made then was to stagger back to the hostel about 8pm and drink the box of wine we had. Then we went out again, ate 4 burgers, and staggered into another bar.
This is where it gets hazy, and I can't actually remember the circumstances of it, but I have a very specific memory, throughout the cloud of drink of several angry looking people at a bar, then the barmaid pointing at the door and shouting "Get out!". I'm sure she must have had a good reason at the time, just wish we could remember what we did!
To be honest don't even remember what bar it was! So I am banned from at least one bar in the southern hemisphere. Just not sure which.
(Thu 31st Aug 2006, 12:14, More)
» The last thing that made me cry
I last cried on Saturday
when I realised I was in love with a person I could never be with. It wasn't very nice.
(Mon 18th Apr 2005, 0:34, More)
I last cried on Saturday
when I realised I was in love with a person I could never be with. It wasn't very nice.
(Mon 18th Apr 2005, 0:34, More)
» My first love
had quite a few girlfriends and never fell in love with any of them
until I suddenly found myself in love with a fella! Didn't see that one coming, but it was for about 2 minutes until I shifted into Broken Heart Mode 'cos it was perhaps the worst situation I could have ever found myself in. But I've put that down to simply a false start, so now actually looking to fall in love for the first time. I'm 22, so wasted quite a lot of time already, but drunken sex will do for the time being!
(Thu 20th Oct 2005, 12:27, More)
had quite a few girlfriends and never fell in love with any of them
until I suddenly found myself in love with a fella! Didn't see that one coming, but it was for about 2 minutes until I shifted into Broken Heart Mode 'cos it was perhaps the worst situation I could have ever found myself in. But I've put that down to simply a false start, so now actually looking to fall in love for the first time. I'm 22, so wasted quite a lot of time already, but drunken sex will do for the time being!
(Thu 20th Oct 2005, 12:27, More)