» Weird Traditions

Buerk Biscuits
A few years back, I worked in a touring theatre company with a nutter called Matthew Davey. During the tour, to help pass the time on those long winter evenings staying in digs light years from the nearest pub, he introduced us to a traditional game he used to play with his flatmate. Each week we would buy a packet of really nice biscuits, which would be known as the Buerk Biscuits. At ten o'clock we would all sit down to watch the news on BBC1, and if - and only if - Michael Buerk opened proceedings by tapping his pen on the desk, we would all be allowed to eat a biscuit.

This may not seem like a big deal, but believe me, after a few weeks of being on tour to to furthest reaches of civilisation, a really nice biscuit can become a seriously big deal. I shall never forget the bitter disappointment of the evenings when the news was read by someone else, the tension in the air the nights Michael B appeared on screen, and the way we whooped and cheered when he tapped that pen.

Thanks Michael.
(Tue 2nd Aug 2005, 20:43, More)

» Singing the wrong words

Misheard moby
To this day I swear that if you listen to Moby's 'Why does my heart feel so bad?', the female voice sings in answer, 'Heeeee's such a nob!'

Go listen to it now - I tell you it's true!
(Thu 27th Jan 2005, 14:36, More)

» Useless Information

More words
The supposedly innocuous and jolly insult 'Berk' is a word shortened from a term for Lady Bits in rhyming slang: 'Berkshire Hunt.' I was terribly disappointed to learn this, as I'd always though 'Berk was a word you could use practically anywhere. Ho hum.
(Thu 17th Mar 2005, 16:43, More)

» Singing the wrong words

Sing ho for puerile Christmas Carols!
A little ditty I penned myself in years gone by, which still amuses us at the should-know-better age of 31. To be sung to the tune of 'Once in Royal David's City':

Once up Royal David's shitter
Went a glowing cattle prod,
T'was not nice, the pain was bitter,
And it made him need a chod.
Yes, the pain it made him howl,
And it made him move his bowel.
(Thu 27th Jan 2005, 14:31, More)

» Useless Information

Words
The modern word 'Goodbye' in a corruption of the original phrase 'God be with ye.' In Sixteenth and Seventeenth Century drama and literature, the phrase turns up in various transient forms as 'God be wi' ye,' 'God buy ye' and 'Good buy ye' amongst others.

Also, the possessive 's', as in 'Rob's cat' is a corruption of an original sentence construction, which would have read ' Rob, his cat.'

Fascinating, eh?
(Thu 17th Mar 2005, 16:31, More)