b3ta.com user sponch!
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i am 16 years old and live in *cue aah-nold accent* colly-fornia. i spend most of my time lurking on various websites, singing in a choir with a bunch of nine-year-olds, and yelling "WHOOSH" whilst pretending to be a llama with laser-vision. i aspire to be the biggest ball of twine in america some day. currently i do not have photoshop which saddens me.


is an Average-Sized Ape that can Change Shape, and kidnaps Blonde Women.

Strength: 3 Agility: 5 Intelligence: 6

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Rampaging amidst the fields, swinging an oversized scalpel, cometh Sponch! And she gives a mighty roar:

"Ares, God of War, be praised! I bring darkness and mayhem like a mad dog who can only get madder!!!"

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created by beatings : powered by monkeys

yes i am named after hairy marshmallow cookie balls.


i have all kinds of crazy adventures, such as:

putting my face in the scanner

and dancing with crazy old greek men

i once knit a bikini O_O

Recent front page messages:


Best answers to questions:

» Office Christmas Parties

my earliest christmas memory
well, it's not exactly the office, but when i was in preschool, one day we all arrived to class to find that each of us had an unfrosted cupcake on our desk, and an assortment of festive frostings and sprinkles.

of course, being 3, we went ape-shit decorating these things (it must have been an awful mess to clean up). when we all had finished decorating them, the teacher came and collected them on a plate. when asked why we couldn't eat them, she replied:

"oh, these are for the bunnies"

next door there was a rabbit farm, and she told us that they were chrsitmas treats for the bunnies.

several years later i realized that the school had found a quick and easy way to get two dozen decorated cupcakes for their staff party.
(Sat 18th Dec 2004, 18:54, More)

» My first love

try being on the receiving end of first love
for a while i volunteered for a nature organization, wandering about in the wilderness with children to expose them to nature and the like.

on our first day we herd all the kids into a circle, and as a means of inroducing ourselves to the group, have each kid say their name and something that they like.

we went around the circle, until we came to the little boy next to me, who said the following, now-infamous lines:

"my name is joey and i like girls!"

he then proceeded to climb into my lap, wrap his arms around my neck and look smugly at his companions.

a very, very strange nature hike followed with constant requests to joey to let go of my hand while my fellow hike leaders looked on laughing.
(Sun 23rd Oct 2005, 6:40, More)

» Singing the wrong words

when chumbawumba was still popular, i was quite young
my friend and i used to sing along going "pissing the night away! just pissing the niiiiiiiight away!" thinking that the actual lyrics were kissing the night away. we thought that we were hilarius.

i just recently learned that the song actually goes pissing the night away.

does it count if you think you're singing the wrong words but are actually singing the right ones?
(Sun 30th Jan 2005, 8:53, More)

» Scary Neighbours

Scary neighbor kid and the lawnmower guy
There is a boy about my age who lives down the road who I was always forbidden to play with. I never knew why until one day all the neighborhood kids were out playing as happy neighborhood kids do. Out of nowhere this kid appears and begins hurling rocks at us and shouting lots of words that we'd never heard before (our parents weren't pleased when we later repeated them).

Fast forward a few years, cue me and best friend/neighbor entertaining another of our friends at her house. We see strange neighbor kid wandering around in the street outside, lots of "Oh God, that kid is so weird!", explanations to the other friend, and giggling at the kid bobbing his head and singing along to the music in his headphones.

Our giggling fun was soon ruined by the discovery that the headphones weren't connected to anything. He was twirling the loose end about and dancing like a spazoid. We promptly locked the door and shut the curtains.

About two years ago a new neighbor moved into a house on the corner. We first suspected something was awry when we saw him mowing his lawn with one of those huge ride-on lawnmowers.

Only his lawn was only about three square yards. Max.

On Satudays the entire neighborhood would be serenaded to The Lion Sleeps Tonight blasted through his stereo from about 10 in the morning until about 4 in the afternoon.

And the bastard cut down all of the lovely blackberry bushes on my property while I was away on vacation because "they were growing into his garage" 20 feet away. I don't give him any blackberry pies now.
(Sun 28th Aug 2005, 0:57, More)

» Pure Ignorance

public american schools. good times.
in eigth grade science class, a girl named Kelsey raised her hand and asked the teacher how to spell some pretty obvious word (I can't remember the exact word...it was like whale, or something equally as easy). the teacher wrote it up on the board and said "that's how you spell it. and your name is spelled D-I-N-G-B-A-T."

five minutes later her voice was heard from the back of the classroom:

(Sun 9th Jan 2005, 8:53, More)
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