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- a member for 19 years, 11 months and 5 days
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» Lost...
And another lost johnny
Fuckin' things. This was at a party, same girl as earlier. We nip off to the toilet for a quick shag, except I can't find the condom afterwards. Never mind, thinks I, and goes back to party. I actually found the thing a while later hanging from the back of my waistband. It seems I hadn't noticed it when I put my keks back on, and it had been hanging there filled with sex wee for some time
(Fri 3rd Dec 2004, 14:32, More)
And another lost johnny
Fuckin' things. This was at a party, same girl as earlier. We nip off to the toilet for a quick shag, except I can't find the condom afterwards. Never mind, thinks I, and goes back to party. I actually found the thing a while later hanging from the back of my waistband. It seems I hadn't noticed it when I put my keks back on, and it had been hanging there filled with sex wee for some time
(Fri 3rd Dec 2004, 14:32, More)
» Evidence that you're getting old
Expiry dates on Duracell batteries
I don't know why this is but I always feel really old when I look at batteries, particularly old ones I find around the house. Like I bought some for the remote control in about 1997 with an expiry of 2003, and thought "my god thats ages away", but sure enough 2003 came and went in no time. Bought some yesterday with an expiry of March 2011, I know that although it seems ages it will be here in the blink of an eye.
Please, someone must share my battery/time related angst...
(Thu 28th Oct 2004, 17:25, More)
Expiry dates on Duracell batteries
I don't know why this is but I always feel really old when I look at batteries, particularly old ones I find around the house. Like I bought some for the remote control in about 1997 with an expiry of 2003, and thought "my god thats ages away", but sure enough 2003 came and went in no time. Bought some yesterday with an expiry of March 2011, I know that although it seems ages it will be here in the blink of an eye.
Please, someone must share my battery/time related angst...
(Thu 28th Oct 2004, 17:25, More)
» Evidence that you're getting old
When I was a lad
this was all fields
(Thu 28th Oct 2004, 17:11, More)
When I was a lad
this was all fields
(Thu 28th Oct 2004, 17:11, More)
» Out of my depth
AO Maths
Being relatively bright in my yoof, I did maths GCSE a year early, then did something called Maths additional O-Level (or AO Maths). Was completely out of my depth from day one. Simultaneous equations. Mechanics. Woosh, straight over my head. Fortunately for me at the time my maths teacher was the laziest fat bastard I've ever met (we saw him teaching his kid to ride a bike on the playing field once, the kid was riding around and he was following him in his car). So instead of marking our work he made us mark our own (didn't even have to swap work! What a twat). So I just copied down what he said, then worked backwards from that so it looked like i'd worked it out. This worked for the whole year but backfired spectacularly come exam time. I did what I could do in about 30 minutes, got bored etc. One of the questions was to do with how far a ball had travelled when thrown, so I wrote an essay about did that mean distance relative to the ground, or distance of the arc actually through the air? That filled another 30 mins. So the remainder of the time I coloured in a whole sheet of A4 paper (both sides) with solid black biro.
As it turned out I passed.
(Tue 19th Oct 2004, 17:28, More)
AO Maths
Being relatively bright in my yoof, I did maths GCSE a year early, then did something called Maths additional O-Level (or AO Maths). Was completely out of my depth from day one. Simultaneous equations. Mechanics. Woosh, straight over my head. Fortunately for me at the time my maths teacher was the laziest fat bastard I've ever met (we saw him teaching his kid to ride a bike on the playing field once, the kid was riding around and he was following him in his car). So instead of marking our work he made us mark our own (didn't even have to swap work! What a twat). So I just copied down what he said, then worked backwards from that so it looked like i'd worked it out. This worked for the whole year but backfired spectacularly come exam time. I did what I could do in about 30 minutes, got bored etc. One of the questions was to do with how far a ball had travelled when thrown, so I wrote an essay about did that mean distance relative to the ground, or distance of the arc actually through the air? That filled another 30 mins. So the remainder of the time I coloured in a whole sheet of A4 paper (both sides) with solid black biro.
As it turned out I passed.
(Tue 19th Oct 2004, 17:28, More)
» World's Sickest Joke
hmmm
what's better than fucking a baby?
Nothing
.
(Wed 15th Sep 2004, 11:08, More)
hmmm
what's better than fucking a baby?
Nothing
.
(Wed 15th Sep 2004, 11:08, More)